Hello Fascination
by MelissaCanFlyy
Summary: Continues after The Joker is sent to Arkham in The Dark Knight. There are three female protagonists involved. WARNINGS: Sexual Content, Sexual Dialogue, Language, Nudity, Sadistic Violence, Brief Drug Use
1. Rough, Tough, Naughty Nurse

**Hello Fascination**

Chapter 1 Rough, Tough, Naughty Nurse

On first appearance, Arkham didn't seem like such a bad environment for a guy like me to be living in. Take a closer look and you'll see what a wreck of a building it really is. Being locked in the same cell for 24 hours with nothing else to do but stare at walls forces you to over analyse and criticise any minor fault. I had managed to count at least 50 cracks in the ceiling and each wall, mould had began to form in each corner of the room and the bed I was given was extremely squeaky. I'd only have to breathe in for it to emit a creek. I must admit that it did amuse me for short period of time; bouncing up and down as much as I was able to, considering that I was in my straitjacket. As I grew bored of this, I also realised how painful the entertainment actually was. The springs and bars were both grinding against my skin, to the point where I actually had to stand up for awhile. The moral of the story; never grind against bars. Or maybe just don't bounce on Arkham beds.

The straitjacket I was forced to put on, obviously wasn't too comfortable either. But I confess; it's warm. The thought was almost comforting at first, until I thought about who may have worn this previously. Some sweaty guy, no doubt. At least it looked like it had been worn, judging by the off white almost yellow colour it had turned. Whenever I attempted lying flat on my bed, the straps of the jacket would painfully jut into my back and combining with the springs only exasperated the pain. So I had no other choice but to sit up straight, wriggling my toes to entertain myself.

My ears perked up once I heard the lock on my cell door being unbolted. I hadn't spoken to anyone for a day and I was actually beginning to grow tired of myself. Two burly looking guards entered the cell each holding nightsticks in one hand. I immediately assumed they were going to beat right there on the spot, until one of them started speaking. "Come on, clown. It's time for your medical." Without a word I stood up and let them unfasten the straps on the back of the straitjacket. I wasn't going to complain as long as I got out of this stupid room.

I was lead down a corridor of white walls until I was aggressively heaved into another white room with a hospital bed in the centre of it. Beside the bed was a lovely looking nurse with blonde hair. Even though her hair wasn't bright, bleached blonde I could still tell that it wasn't her real colour by looking at the brunette roots. She held in her arm a plastic clipboard and stood patiently with a cheery smile on her face.

"Good morning, sir," she started. "Please could you lie down on the bed? I'll be your nurse today and I'll be making a few tests for your medical record."

"What if I refuse? You can't make me do anything," I argued as I lay down on the scratchy tissue paper. My ankles were being locked in shackles attached to the bed to prevent me from escaping or attempting to attack the nurse. The two guards left as soon as they had finished, leaving me and the nurse alone.

"Sir, it's necessary for all patients to have some sort of medical check-up every half year kept on a database. The information given allows us to provide continuity of care to every individual patient. We also need to make sure that you're healthy and be aware of any illnesses, allergies or diseases you may have."

"So...Wendy, how are you this fine day?" I asked after reading her nametag. "You don't look afraid to see me. I'm not sure if that makes me happy or not. A lot of the other nurses tend to-"

"Can you lie down flat, please?" She asked ignoring everything I had just said. She pushed my chest down so that I was no longer propping myself up with my arms. I let out an annoyed and bored sigh as I crossed my arms underneath my head. "Now, since you already know my name, could you state yours?"

"The Joker," I replied simply. "I would have thought you'd known that. And I know that you're really not that stupid considering that your natural hair colour, uh, isn't actually blonde. Do you get out much, huh?"

"I hardly believe that your real name is 'The Joker'."

"Best start believing then, hmm beautiful?" She sighed, knowing that she was never going to get my real name out of me. I smiled knowing that I had won and an easy win at that. She wrote down "Joker" in inverted commas onto the record as I propped up once again to look at what she was writing. "_The _Joker, if you please," I started noticing that she had neglected to include the 'The'.

"Don't push it," she retorted monotonously and then pushed me back down onto the bed forcefully with her beautiful, slender hands. I snickered slightly. I wanted to be angry at her, but I couldn't bring myself to think of thoughts that involved me hurting her. No, my thoughts kept wondering back to how I was able to see her black bra peeking out of the nurse outfit. I would have pointed it out but I'm pretty sure that it was her intentions. The button she had fastened the uniform up to made it look like she intended to reveal her boobs. "What's your date of birth?" She asked as she took a seat on the edge of the bed.

"How am I supposed to remember? I was just a baby when I was first born."

"That's great," Wendy said sarcastically writing an 'N/A' in the box provided. "Um, sex?"

"Yes, please," I answered.

She laid the clipboard on her lap irritated and glared sternly at me. "Mr Joker, please try and be more mature about this. This is a serious document and you're going to have to give me some serious answers for it to be filed."

"It was a stupid question, so I gave a stupid reply. And if you haven't noticed I actually have answered every question you've asked, just not to your standards. But let's stop this arguing; I don't want to get off on the wrong foot."

"Do you by any chance know your blood type?" She asked, picking the clipboard back up and standing up straight. I shook my head in reply. She walked over to a desk in the corner of the room and picked something up. When she returned I noticed she was brandishing a small needle. "Can you sit up?" I did as I was told, while I could have easily just snatched that needle away from her and stabbed it in her neck. She gently grasped my arm and tied a tourniquet around my arm just above the elbow. "Could you flex your hands?" Once again I obeyed and saw the vein in my elbow become instantly prominent. I couldn't hold back the urge to poke it. Immediately my hand was slapped away by Wendy so that she could cleanse the area around the vein. "You're going to feel a slight prick," Wendy warned as she placed the tip of the needle near the vein. I didn't flinch at the feel of the needle piercing my skin. I was already used to pain far worse than that. "It's usually the men who are wimps when it comes to pain. Women have a nine times higher pain threshold to men."

"Pfft. I doubt that," I exclaimed rolling my eyes. She pulled the needle out of my arm and replaced it with a cotton wool ball.

"It's true! I'm not saying it stands for every man; I mean you obviously don't fall into that category. But the majority of the men that I've looked at have cried at a finger prick."

"They all deserve to die! They don't even deserve a penis. They're a disgrace to the entire male population!" I shouted with my fists balling up. Maybe I was overreacting a little, but it was men like them that had women believing these kinds of pretences.

"Calm down. There's no need to get worked up over a little statistic that I happen to believe. You can lay back down now." Sighing almost like growl, I was pushed back down onto my back. "Do you have any major illnesses I should know about? Any allergies, chronic diseases or history of illness in your family?"

"Not sure."

"You're not being very helpful with this, are you?"

"Well there's obviously a lot of stuff I don't know about myself. Can't say I care to find out."

She sat back down on the edge of the bed and began filling in boxes on the record. I sat up straight again and leaned over her shoulder to peek at what she was writing. I noticed goose bumps beginning to form around her neck as I breathed down her neck, yet she didn't move away or tell me to lie back down. Most of the boxes were filled with 'N/A', except for the list of medication. She had scribbled down a list of medications I'd be taking and when I'd be taking them. I'd never even heard of things until just now and I'd not been informed that I'd have to be taking anything while I was here.

"Hey! I didn't agree to take any drugs! What are these anyway!?" I questioned angrily snatching the clipboard away from her. She desperately attempted to steal it back, but I merely retracted the clipboard even more.

"Give it back," she ordered as she leaned over my body stretching her arm up as far as it would go. The position she was in made her cleavage even more apparent than it already was.

"No, I don't think I will. I just want to look at it anyway. And at the moment the view I have is pretty beautiful," I admitted, gazing down her uniform. She continued to stretch relentlessly, until I began to feel sorry for her and slowly brought the clipboard back down so that she was able to reach it. Once it was in reach she aggressively snatched it back. She sighed heavily and tucked a stray hair behind her ear, looking a little flushed from the previous predicament. She regained her composure almost instantly after and was back to her usual self. I smiled at her discomfort, finding pleasure in her misfortune. She looked wonderful struggling helplessly.

"Okay, if you must know these drugs weren't set for you by me. Neulactil tablets or pericyazine is an antipsychotic which you will take daily. This will help prevent any disturbed thoughts, feelings and any behavioural disorders that involve aggression or severe agitation or excitement. It produces a calming effect and controls aggression, delusions and hallucinations. And these are just vitamins that you will also take daily. Trust me; in a place like this you'll need these vitamins to keep healthy. The food you get given here doesn't exactly look healthy at all. If you get any odd side-effects please tell one of the nurses or doctors."

"Will do...Won't take them anyway." I whispered the last part under my breath; however she still heard and shook her head disapprovingly. She turned away and placed the clipboard and pen on the desk in the corner. "What now, nurse?"

"It's time for some tests," she answered as she examined the blood sample. After a couple of minutes of looking at the sample she spoke. "Your blood type is AB negative. That's the rarest blood type there is, Mr Joker." She returned to the bedside holding a glass thermometer in one hand. "Now, can you please open wide?"

"That's what he sa-" I didn't have a chance to finish off my sexual innuendo joke when the thermometer was shoved into my mouth. This forced me to erupt into a fit of laughter. For what reason I wasn't quite sure, but Wendy didn't seem to find it funny. Although she did keep the smile on her face as she watched me laugh at nothing. After a few seconds of having the thermometer in my mouth, she slid it out and examined it. Once again she retreated to the desk and came back with another object. This time it was an ophthalmoscope. Before she came back she switched off the light in the room so that we were in darkness.

"This test is just to observe your pupil size," she explained as she switched the light on the small tool. "Okay, look at me." She held the scope to her eye and brought her face closer to mine.

"You have really beautiful eyes," I complimented as I gazed into her dark brown irises.

She smiled before breathing out a thank you. "Look to the left. Look to the right. Look up. Look down." Yet again, another nice view of the cleavage and yet again I felt as if I needed to laugh. I tried to stifle it but it was no use. I began laughing uncontrollably. "What do you keep laughing at? Is it something I've done?" She asked, trying to cover up her wants to giggle also.

"It's nothing," I replied while shaking my head.

"Can you quickly tilt your head up towards the ceiling?" Confused, I obeyed her requests. When I felt her two fingers come in contact with my neck, I flinched and slapped her hand away as a reflex. I hated being touched in a comforting, gentle, caressing kind of way. "Don't worry. I'm just checking your pulse rate," she informed as she brought her hand back up. Still a bit uncertain, I tilted my head back up. She placed the two fingers on the side of my neck again and began moving them in circular motions trying to find the pulse. Once she found it, she did again with her other hand on the other side of my neck. As she kept her finger tips to my neck, I stared at her from the corners of my eye.

She wasn't scared of me at all. At least she showed no fear in her expression. If she was scared, she was good at hiding it. She must have known that I could easily tear her delicate body limb from limb if I tried, yet she had never panicked or stumbled on her words once. She's obviously a very confident and charismatic woman. Once she realised that I was gazing at her, she became timid. "What are you looking at?" She asked curiously.

"What's wrong, hmm? Can't I look at you?"

"Of course you can," She replied with a toothy grin. She spun round on her heel and walked over towards the light switch.

"Are we done?" I asked.

"No, not yet. Two more tests and we'll be finished. All I need now is your urine and semen samples." My ears perked up at the mention of semen and began to chuckle silently to myself. She returned to the bed holding two plastic containers and then placed them on table beside the bed. She reached into her chest pocket and pulled out a small key before sauntering over to the foot of the bed. There she unlocked the restraints around my ankles so that I was able to stand up from the bed. I did so willingly straight away. I stretched my legs and clicked my back with a groan. "Now, take these containers and fill one with urine and the other with semen in that room there. Do you need any water to help you pee? Any...magazines?"

"Uh, no. I think I'll be alright," I replied and took the containers from her hand. I was about to turn to leave, but stopped when an idea popped into my head. "You know, I might actually need some, ah, help. Know what I mean, hmm?"

"Are you in need of professional assistance?"

"Indeed I am." Was she actually going to do it? I didn't think it was going to be that easy.

"Okay. I need you to drop your pants, turn around and place both hands flat on the bed," she commanded as she snapped some spandex gloves on. "This procedure is an anally induced ejaculation, so you're going to feel a strong pressure on the prostate gland inside your rectum."

"Uh...this isn't what I had in mind," I stated, immediately regretting asking her for anything.

"I assure you, it'll be over and done with before you know it." She began smearing some kind of lubricant all over her two fingers. "Let's prove that pain threshold statistic correct, shall we?" I desperately wanted to prove her wrong. What she was about to do couldn't be that bad. I hesitantly pulled down the white scrub pants along with my boxers and rested my hands against the bed. "Are you ready?" She asked, walking behind me. I nodded my head, bracing myself for the pain.

I clenched the tissue paper on the bed and grinded my teeth together as she first entered. I attempted to block out the pain by trying to think of something else, but it proved to be incredibly difficult. I unwontedly let out low growls and moans not wanting to show my discomfort, meaning that I'd look weaker to her. No matter how uncomfortable it was, I felt my climax coming closer and closer. My eyes rolled back when I finally did cum with a heavy sigh.

"All done," Wendy smiled cheerily as she sealed the container and walked over to the desk.

"Was that completely necessary?" I asked as I bent down to pull up my pants.

"No. Not at all. I just like to mess with patients. However, both urine and semen are both great indicators to help show how healthy a person is. And also it's nice to know if the patient is free of any STDs. It's always the same thing with guys and they always end up regretting it. It's kind of fun to watch them squirm relentlessly."

"You...are a naughty little nurse. You've surprised me and I think I like you. You're not like all of the other nurses in here."

"Oh, I know. Now, I'm sure you don't need help trying to pee," she said as she passed me the other empty container. I took the container and left into the room through the door she had pointed to. It was a simple bathroom, with only a toilet and a sink in it. No windows for escape and no mirrors to smash for sharp shards.

When I left the room after doing my business, Wendy was standing close to the desk looking over the clipboard. I placed the container beside her and waited for her to speak. "Okay, Mr Joker, judging by your test results you're as healthy as a horse. There shouldn't be a problem with the medication you're given but if you do start to notice any possible symptoms tell someone and I'll get it sorted out, okay?"

"Okay. It was nice meeting you, Wendy. I can only hope that we meet again soon. This meeting was very...interesting." If interesting was even the right word.

"It was nice meeting you too, Mr Joker," she admitted as she opened the exit door. The two guards from earlier on entered once again and gripped either of my arms. "Take care," Wendy sang as I was dragged out of the room. I looked behind me to send her a wink in return, but I was then jerked forward when one of the guards tugged at my arm.

I suppose that didn't go too bad.

AN: This is my first story on . I have written a Joker fanfic on Mibba, but I think I've grown bored of that site. Sometimes I like a change so I resorted to this site, where it seems to be a lot more mature than Mibba. I had a Quizilla account when I was a lot younger, until they decided to change the website design and I became a refugee in Mibba. I still like Mibba, but I'm sticking with this site for now. My name isn't MelissaCanFlyy on Mibba though; it's SurpriseSurprise if you're wondering. This story is kind of inspired by "Kichi"; another writer on who wrote an amazing story in J's POV called "Vitiate". I find it difficult to write in his POV because it's so hard to keep up with his perfect charisma and quick wit. But I am trying my best; just keep in mind that I'm not The Joker so I'm sorry if it isn't perfect.

There are going to be three female protagonists in this story and I'm not trying to say Mr J is a whore; I'm just trying to say he's totally irresistible. I mean judging by the amount of fan girls I've come across it's easy to make as many girls like him as I want, so the reason behind all three protagonists? Why not?

So the first one has already been introduced; Wendy. I'd like to imagine her with Rachel Mcadam's kind of looks.

The story title is taken from a band called "Breathe Carolina" who sings a song called "Hello Fascination" off their album "Hello Fascination". I find the song incredibly catchy, but it seems to be the only good song on that album. For my story, the title is referring to the new found fascination in Arkham; The Joker.

The chapter title is taken from a band called "Blood on the Dance Floor" who sings a song called "Ima Monster" off their album "It's Hard to Be a Diamond in a Rhinestone World". Once again, I think it's an amazing song, but it holds hardly any reference to the chapter or story in general. I only used it for the naughty nurse part to reflect Wendy's behaviour. And the dirty lyrics for the song make it a whole lot better.

The D.O.B answer is a close reference to a "Laurel & Hardy" short. When Oliver asks Stan what his Birthday was he replied with something similar to what The Joker did.

The pain threshold statistic was something I was told when I had a blood test. The nurse told me that women were a lot braver and she had witnessed a lot of men overreact to having the needle. I'd like to believe the statistic is true, considering that women do have to give birth which I'd imagine is a lot of pain.

The part where The Joker is laughing when having his eye test is something that happened to me not long ago. At my last optical appointment, I had an Indian optician, I couldn't really understand him too well, but I got the gist. Anyway, when he was examining the eye movements, he grabbed a pen and began moving it from side to side telling me to follow. And for some unknown reason I began laughing hysterically. It was a painful laugh too; the one's where you don't want to laugh and you attempt to hide but it fails and bursts out anyway. The optician didn't look amused at all, which was even funnier. Whenever I thought I had finished laughing, he'd try to continue but I'd start laughing again. It went on for awhile, until the optician got fed up and left that test for now. It was really embarrassing, but hilarious at the same time. I really don't like that optician. He's way too serious.

The anal ejaculation scene is a reference from a film called "Road Trip". There's a scene where Sean William Scott offers a sperm donation and asks for the nurses help and then she induces the semen anally. It's pretty funny.

If anyone reads this, please review and constructive criticism is always appreciated.


	2. The Happy Farm

Chapter 2: The Happy Farm; Where Life Is Beautiful All The Time

The day after my encounter with Wendy the entertainment value of the meeting had begun to wear away and now I was once again totally and utterly bored. Not only that, but I also had a major itch dying to be scratched right next to my left scar. Unfortunately, I couldn't do anything about it considering that I was wrapped tightly in my straightjacket. Deliberately, I rolled over onto my front in an attempt to cure the itch by rubbing the side of my face into the pillow. I hissed when a stinging pain was a result to trying to scratch my cheek. I wasn't sure what it was that caused the pain but I gave up scratching my face seeing as my paint had began to smear off onto the pillow case. It wasn't as if I was concerned with the cleanliness of the pillow; no, I only intended on leaving the paint that coated my face on for as long as humanly possible. Eventually, I knew it would fade away, but I was going to do whatever I could in my power just to leave it on.

Anyway, asides the fact that I had an incurable itch, I assumed that I had woken up early in the morning; judging by the irritatingly, singing birds and the pinkish red sky. Red sky in the morning, sailors warning. The amount of sleep surprised me seeing as wearing the Arkham straitjacket gives nothing but discomfort, so any sleep at all was a miracle. I hardy slept normally. Not being able to have my normal fix of caffeine was the most likely problem. I needed the coffee to keep me going, but now that it was taken away from me, I had resorted to sleeping on the uncomfortable Arkham beds. I was pretty sure that today my first session with my new doctor was being held. Who the doctor was and when the session was being held was beyond me, so all I could do was wait and wriggle my toes.

The doctor better be fun to play with. Doctors were always best when they struggled in attempts to overcome my tries to break them completely. I never like the wimpy doctors who were far too emotional. All I'd had to do was lick my lips and they'd crumble to the ground in fear, metaphorically speaking of course. What were they trying to say? I was far too ugly to be in their presence? I don't know whether to be slightly offended by their disgusted behaviour. No, I had no reason to be. I should be proud to know I had this affect on people, if anything. Preferably, I wanted a female doctor. Only because the male doctors tended to be jerks and always tried hiding their fear behind their false masculinity. It didn't get passed me though. I could see clearly the overwhelming terror building up in their eyes no matter how hard they attempted to hide it. Women were more up front about their feelings and said amusing things like 'I'll scream if you come any closer' or 'Don't you think I won't press this panic button'. Pfft. As if that'll stop me.

My thoughts were interrupted when the door to my cell was unlocked and then opened by one of the Arkham guards. "Get up! It's time for your session with Dr Clarkson!" He exclaimed as he gripped my shoulder tightly and heaved me off the bed, clearly abusing his power. A little disorientated from standing up too quickly, I was shoved out of my cell and lead down a corridor which had a series of doors with the names of doctors printed on them. The guard knocked on one of the doors once we reached the door that read 'Dr Audrey C. Clarkson'. In response a faint 'come in' was heard from inside the office.

So now I knew it was a woman...and a beautiful woman at that, now that I had first lay eyes upon her. Her hair was dark brown which fell past her shoulders in soft curls and her eyes matched her hair colour perfectly. Her skin looked smooth and was naturally, lightly tanned...Slicing into that delicate skin wouldn't be a difficult task. Whilst establishing that I had been given a good looking doctor, the guard began unfastening the buckles on my straitjacket after I had sat down on the couch. Thank God! I stretched my arms as soon as I had the ability to move freely. My moment of freedom was soon shattered when the guard roughly gripped my wrists and tightened some handcuffs around them. I glared at them feeling somewhat down heartened. Nonetheless, at least I could scratch the itch now, no matter how painful it was for some bizarre reason. I continued scratching and scratching, but nothing seemed to suffice the itch. Why was this bothering me so much?

The guard had now left the room and I didn't acknowledge the fact that it was just me and the pretty doctor left in the room. "Hello, my name is- "

"Is it normal for me to, ah, randomly bleed from my cheek?" I asked interrupting whatever it was she was going to say. A single drop of blood was now rolling down my finger after I had removed it from my face. I touched my cheek again and more blood was now covering my hand.

"What are you talking about?" She asked as she stood up from her chair and made her way over to me with her heels clicking against the floor in the process. "Oh my god, your face is bleeding," she gasped as she placed her hands over her mouth in shock.

"I figured."

"How did you do that?" She asked as she examined the cut on my face. Strange. It's usually the other scars the doctors ask about. "Stop scratching at it," she ordered, gripping my wrists with her delicate hands and attempt to pull them away from my face. Yet, it was to no prevail. In the process, she only managed to get her hands covered in blood too. Figuring that she was too weak, her hands slipped away and some blood flicked onto her white blouse in doing so. I couldn't help but laugh as she gasped and stared down at her top with displeasure in her eyes. She groaned before stomping over to her desk for a box of tissues in a moody manner. I laughed more realising she was already beginning to break down without me doing anything deliberate. "This isn't funny," she sighed wiping blood of her hands with the tissues. I laughed nevertheless.

After wiping the blood off her hands, she started on mine. I let her do it until she started for my face. Hastily, I gripped her arm with both my hands and stared at her warningly, my laughter coming to an immediate stop. "You're going to have to let me wipe the blood off your face," she reasoned with me still trying to reach the cut.

"Ah tah tah tah tah, I can do it myself, thank you very much," I protested as I moved my face away from her hands.

"Fine," she sighed defeated and handed me the box of tissues. "Anyway, enough with all the shtick. How did you get that cut?"

I merely shrugged my shoulders in reply because I sincerely didn't remember getting sliced across the face. It was so close to my old scars too. An inch higher and the cut could have reopened the stitches and that wouldn't be very pretty.

"How can you not know where you got that cut? Did you have it yesterday?" She questioned as she pulled out something from her desk draws. It was a medical kit.

I was in deep thought for a moment, trying to think back and figure out how I could have possibly gotten a deep enough cut. I dabbed the cut, staring up into space as I chewed the inside of my scars. My eyes widened in realisation when I figured out where I must have gotten them from. "Ah, yes! I remember," I exclaimed before bursting out into laughter again. It was two days ago, before I got sent to Arkham when I had received the injury. During the final fight between me and Batman, he sliced my cheek with one of his bat gadgets. "The bat gave me it," I explained still giggling slightly.

"Um...the bat? Care to explain?" The doctor asked as she sauntered over to me again holding the kit. She sat down beside me and stared at me eagerly awaiting my response. "Are you hallucinating already?"

"No, no, no. The Batman gave the cut during a fight," I explained more clearly. She nodded acknowledging what I had said and unzipped the medical kit before pulling out a bottle of antiseptic. "I hope you're not intending to cleanse the cut," I warned her threateningly, even though I had not yet made any clear threats against her. If she was smart, she'd stop what she was doing right this second, but she showed no intentions of stopping. I had nothing else to do but grab that bottle out of her hands and hurl it across the room. The bottle didn't smash, but a lot of the contents poured out of it as it fell to the ground.

"What is wrong with you?" She exclaimed and then went to pick the bottle up.

"You tell me. You're supposed to be the doctor." She sighed as she picked up the bottle and screwed the top back on. She stared down at the puddle of antiseptic on the floor and shook her head in frustration. "I did warn you. Maybe you should listen next time, hmm?"

"It's going to get infected especially with that make-up covering it," she protested still not having given up. The main reason I didn't want it cleaned was because of the make-up.

"I don't care, just leave it," I ordered now growling slightly. She was trying my patience and my anger was now reaching the threshold because she just wasn't taking the hint. When the antiseptic made contact with the cut, I arose from the couch abruptly and glared down at her. She looked around 5' 10" while I still stood towering at 6'1". The sudden realisation of how much bigger I was to her immediately made her hand retract in intimidation. My teeth were clenched and my fists were balled up, hoping that my actions spoke louder than words. It seemed to be working since she was now packing the antiseptic away. I noticed as she was packing, that she had a ring on her wedding finger, so I automatically assumed that she married.

"Um...okay. We'll leave that for now," she stated sheepishly and made her way over to her desk. Now that she had gone, I slowly sat back down on the couch again my anger slowly decreasing. "Considering that majority of our time together has been wasted from these silly predicaments, there really isn't any point in getting in too deep with this session. Therefore we'll just spend the rest of the time getting to know each other, okay?" I didn't say anything back, indifferent on the idea. She picked up a clipboard that was lying on the desk in front of her and gazed down at it. "There's hardly any information on here. Who did your medical with you yesterday?" Audrey asked still staring at the clipboard with her eyebrows knitted together in frustration.

"Uh, Wendy."

"Oh. Go figure," she breathed ironically.

I stared at her confused by what she meant and the tone she had used. "What's the problem, hmm?"

"She's the problem, that's all," she replied cynically. The abhorrence was thick in her words and I could tell she had a strong hatred to Wendy for some unknown reason. Wendy was in no way a sweet person, but I still couldn't tell what the reason behind Audrey's hate was. I suppose Audrey could sense that I was confused, so she took it as her duty to elucidate further. "Asides from the fact that she's a completely incompetent nurse, she's hated me ever since I started working here. There's no particular reason behind the hating, but I assume it's because of my job title. I'm younger than her so the fact that I'm a psychiatrist and she isn't really hits a nerve and it's created a strong sense of jealousy towards me. I've been working here for almost three years now, since the age of 23 and she has never ever made any attempt to be nice to me in the slightest."

I calculated in my head that she must have been 26 or approaching. That was way too young to be working as a psychiatrist in Arkham I would have thought. A lot of the doctors here are at least above the age of thirty after years and years of practice to get a psychiatry degree. And somehow Dr Clarkson comes along and she's a psychiatrist immediately. It all seemed a little too shady for me. She couldn't have possibly gotten the degree or the job with her intelligence; she was far too inexperienced. Looks was the most likely possibility. I had heard of people satisfying certain people's sexual desires for them to be able to achieve some sort of higher status on the totem pole and I figured that this was maybe what Audrey had done.

"Who did you have to blow to get this job?" I asked bluntly with a smirk.

"...Excuse me?" She questioned after a long pause, looking taken aback to say the least. "Who did I blow to get this job? What are you talking about?"

"Surely, you didn't get this job through good grades and high marks in your school's pop quizzes."

"Actually, I'm a very worthy psychiatrist here in Arkham. I got here through a lot of hard work and dedicated training. I'd appreciate it if you weren't so stereotypical in the future, please."

"I'm not being stereotypical, uh, doc. It was only an assumption. I knew for a fact that all the doctors here are above the age of thirty, so I automatically assumed you must have chosen the easier option to get where you are. If anything, you are the one being stereotypical."

"How so?"

"Why am I here, doc, hmm?"

"Well, you are classed as criminally insane- "

"Enough said; that is a stereotypical comment in itself. I'm labelled as insane, but it's never occurred to anyone to think that maybe it's me that's in the right and that maybe I'm the only one who's realised the, ah, true view of human nature. They're all far too afraid to go against society and its rules so they all jump on the same band wagon and frown upon the underdog or that one person who isn't afraid to stand up against society. In this case, that one person is me. Maybe you should think about what you say before you begin contradicting yourself, thus proving your intelligence and therefore proving that you couldn't have possibly gotten this job with brains. However, maybe that's an unfair statement, considering that I'm only comparing your intellect with mine, which is far more superior to yours," I gloated, knowing how right I was.

Audrey said nothing back; just simply stared at me looking slightly beat. Oh, I had hit a nerve. She knew I was right, so there really wasn't any point in arguing further. Already she had begun to crack and the first session hadn't even finished yet. She coughed, clearing her throat, before starting her sentence. "Well that's just your opinion." I rolled my eyes at her stubbornness. "I can clearly see you are a very opinionative guy. Is there anything else you want to share with me? Tell me a little about yourself."

"Well, where do I begin? I was born and raised in Gotham. I've never travelled anywhere else. I enjoy rainy days. I listen to classical music quite frequently. I've starred in many pornography movies. I've won the award for 'Father of the Year' many times before. I have to step off curbs using a specific foot. Wet towels scare me. As a child, I wanted to be a giraffe. I can't eat lasagne because all the layers make it feel like a journey to the centre of the earth. And I think you're a beautiful psychiatrist with lovely long legs."

The amount of information given at such a high speed was overwhelming for Audrey and the words were still sinking into recognition, so she simply stared at me dumbfounded. "Um...How much of that was actually true?" She asked as she scratched her head.

"The pornography part was true," I replied.

"Don't lie."

"How would you know I'm lying?" I asked smarmily.

Before Audrey could protest, the door to her office opened, revealing the burly guard. Saved by the bell. "Has it been half an hour already?" She asked and he nodded as a reply. Audrey must have noticed the guard staring down at the puddle of antiseptic, so she ordered, "someone's going to have to clean that up. It's antiseptic." The guard nodded again, still not quite understanding. He entered the room holding the dreaded straitjacket again and began placing it back on me once the cuffs were off. "Goodbye, Mr Joker. See you next session."

"Goodbye, doc," I grumbled not happy that I was forced back into my straitjacket again. I was shoved back into my cell for the boredom to once again consume.

*.*.*.*

AN: *waves sheepishly* I am so sorry for the extremely long wait! Please, don't hurt me! I seriously forgot all about this story. I've been so consumed with revision and exams to even realise I actually had people subscribed to this story! Ugh...sorry. I've kicked myself for you.

Anyway, the second female protagonist has been introduced. I imagine her with Mandy Moore's looks.

The chapter title is taken from someone called "Napoleon XIV" who sings a song called "They're Coming To Take Me Away" but I have no idea what album it is off. I've just heard the song on so many Joker fan videos on Youtube and I think it fits him perfectly. I'd look them up on Youtube if I were you. The majority of them are really good.

The stepping off curbs with a specific foot is a strange habit that I have myself. No-one else seems to have the urge to use one specific foot except me. I don't know why it happens. Maybe something subliminally scarred me, but I just can't remember what it is.

The wet towels thing is a problem to me too. But I'd assume that many others would have that problem too. They're disgusting when they're wet and they've clearly been used, so it's really repugnant to me.

The wanting to be a giraffe comments is also a personal experience to me. I remember a long time ago in my infant school; a teacher was asking around the class what they wanted to be when they grew up. And this one kid in total seriousness answers with, "When I grow up, I want to be a giraffe." I don't actually remember laughing at the time, but I find it funny now. It's strange how that's stuck with me throughout my life.

Reviews are needed...please? Just tell me what you like about it and...shit.


	3. Did You Forget To Take Your Meds?

I didn't even know how to begin to describe the food I was given. Not long after returning to my cell a bowl was shoved through the slot at the bottom of the cell door. All I did was glare down at the bowl with disgust. It looked as if it was once some kind of cereal before the milk had been poured into it. The milk had now transformed the cereal into a slump of gooey oats mixed with a lumpy, runny liquid. All in all the substance looked like vomit. How did they even expect me to it eat? Use my feet? Shove my head into the bowl like some kind of animal? I would have thought that it was just the Arkham guards being retarded if it wasn't clouded by the fact that they were doing it deliberately. They were all extremely hostile towards me and they were intentionally being cruel merely because I was The Joker.

I sat down on the floor with my legs crossed in front of the bowl. I did nothing but stare at it. I could smell that the milk had gone off without even trying and my upper lip twitched with dissatisfaction. Not really wanting to, I lowered my head closer to the bowl, the pong of off milk getting stronger. Hesitating, I quickly flicked my tongue out to meet the oaty sludge. As quickly as I had done it, I retracted my tongue in distaste and spat the so called food out back into the bowl. My brows knitted together as I wriggled violently. It tasted like a hobo's armpit who'd deliberately smeared yoghurt over himself in an attempt to smell better! Not that I had ever licked a hobo's armpit before.

For some reason, in a fit of fury, I rose from my position on the tile ground and kicked the metal bowl on the floor as hard as I could. It collided with the white wall in front of me and all the contents exploded and splattered across it; some of it dripping onto the floor. The bowl hit the ground with a metallic thud and then began spinning round in circles, creating a mesmerising continuous ring. It soothed me for awhile until it did its last few quick revolves and came to a complete stop on the floor. I wasn't quite sure on why I was so angry. Lack of nourishment. Lack of fresh air. Lack of social interaction. Lack of everything. I needed out. The four walls surrounding me felt as if they were encroaching into my personal space.

As soon as the thought popped into my head, the door to my cell was unlocked and opened as if my wishes were coming true. "It's time to go to the recreation room," the guards informed me before two of them grabbed either arm and began leading me out of the cell. I was led the opposite way down the hall and we were approaching some double doors which I guessed led to the recreation room. When I first entered, my sinuses were instantly met with the aroma of an old and stale smell. It made my nose twitch uncomfortably as I grimaced at the surroundings. It was full of men, young and old all crowded around, some in groups and some not. There was one group sitting at a round table playing poker by the looks of it. But there was one guy who stood out most in that group. Unfortunately, he had his back to me but he certainly didn't look like a guy that should be messed with. He was a dark skinned man with broad hunched shoulders and the build of a rhinoceros on steroids. Even though he was sitting down, I could definitely tell he would be able to tower over me at least a foot taller. He was pretty much a beast in stature, but the odd thing that stood out to me was that the skin exposed along his arms, neck and bald head was covered with some sort of flaky, scaly texture.

Once I noticed that I had been staring at him for too long, I also noticed that the guards had now left me alone. I was at a loss of what to do. It felt like my first day of high school all over again. There was a glass window to the left of the room and through it was an office like room with a couple of nurses lingering in it. One of them was Wendy and she was staring straight at me with her lip curling up into a smile slightly. I turned away and mindlessly began trudging around the room searching for a place that looked relatively vacant. I sat on the brown, battered looking couch and simply gazed at the TV screen through the chain link wiring even though it wasn't even on. I could only see my reflection scarcely. At least something good was on the TV. But jokes aside, they could have at least turned it on for people to watch, but they probably claimed that it was wasting money and nuts like us didn't deserve to watch it anyway.

For minutes, I just sat waiting and watching, absorbing my surroundings and everything that was happening. It was pretty quiet considering this was supposed to be a nuthouse for the criminally insane. A little too quiet for my liking. This place had completely drained the life and vitality from all these poor unfortunate souls and I feared that one day it may do the same to me. That's why I needed to get out.

I sighed heavily from boredom until I saw a young female enter the room that wasn't a nurse. She was an Arkham patient judging by her white scrubs. Her hair was dark, almost black and it looked greasy from where I was sitting. Her facial features were small and delicate and there was something incredibly alluring about her. She may not have been the most perfect woman I'd seen in my life or the most kempt but there was definitely something. Her walk was by no means graceful, but I watched her saunter over to the table that the guys were playing poker at and then she pulled over a chair and sat in front of that beastly man. I watched her shuffling the cards, giggling and bantering with the men, but every so often I noticed her glance up at me with a smile still on her face. I wondered what she was doing on this floor. This floor was for men and men only, unless you're a member of staff.

I heard the flicker of electricity as the TV in front of me switched on and an episode of [i]Tom & Jerry[/i] was playing. My eyes tore away from her and became fixated on the screen. It wasn't what I would have wanted to watch originally, but I guess I had no choice in the matter. I watched as the small mouse battered the mischievous cat over and over again, using dynamite, sledge hammers, bowling balls and anything else that may cause harm until I felt the weight on the couch shift slightly. Slightly startled my head shot in the direction of the new presence. It was that girl...she just sat there staring at me. Confused and uncomfortable I turned my head away and continued watching the kids cartoon, but I still felt her eyes burning a hole into my skull. Very, very slowly my pupils made their way to the corner of my eyes.

"Hi," she chirped as she smiled at me. "You're new here."

I didn't say anything, but I shuffled in my position and focused back on the TV.

"Who are you? Why are you ignoring me?" She questioned as she jabbed her finger into my arm painfully. My head snapped in her direction and I frowned at her lividly. If I wasn't in my straitjacket, I would have broken that little finger of hers. "My name's Jezebel. It's unfortunate, I know but it's what my parents blessed me with." I nodded, but I still refused to say a thing. "Since you're not talking or telling me your name, I'm going to call you...Stitch Man. No! Mr Stitches...that sounds better."

"Ah, why are you here, hmm?" I asked finally snapping from her high-pitched drone.

"I'm crazy," she replied tapping her temple repeatedly with her finger.

"No, no, no. Why are you in this ward?" I asked again, this time being more specific.

"What do you mean?"

"Well from the looks of it, you clearly don't have a penis...but I could be wrong."

"Oh, I just played 'hello titty' with one of the Arkham Guards. Ha, I love these guys, you know; so easily manipulated. Hi Stanley," Jezebel mouthed seductively as she waved across the room at one of the guards, her fingers wiggling in the process. He was trying to stifle a smile from curling on the corners of his lips, but in defeat he raised his hand and waved back totally in a trance because of Jezebel. "You see." That could come in handy in the near future. If the guards were as easily manipulated by a pair of breasts, surely my ways of intimidation and psychological torture could break me out of this shithole. "So, Mr Stitches, why the clown make-up? Where did you get those scars? How did you end up in here? Why are you all by yourself?" She questioned with near to no breath in between each question.

Surely this girl had been isolated from the outside world or been living under a rock for the past few months now to not know who I was...oh, wait...that actually is what happened. I clearly wasn't as notorious in here as I was in the outside world and the lack of recognition was a little strange to me. It felt like all that notoriety had been shattered and now I had to build it all back up again here in Arkham. "The name's The Joker; not Mr Stitches...and, uh, if you ever call me that again, I'll rip you apart limb from limb, hmm. Got that?"

"I got that, Mr Stitches, but I've seemed to notice that you're in a straitjacket...and guess what? I'm not!" She giggled uncontrollably as she waved her arms in the air. My lips pursed together and the tightened as the overwhelming fury sparked inside of me. As soon as I was allowed out of this jacket, I was going to tear her apart and eat her up. She pouted and mocked sympathy as she began stroking my hair and the side of my face. "Aw, don't worry, Mr Stitches. I won't taunt you again."

"Miss Origliasso! What are you doing down here!" A middle-aged nurse exclaimed as she exited the nurse's office, her hands on her hips and her lips forming a thin line. "You know you shouldn't be down here!"

"Look, Jezebel isn't a problem," Stanley 'the easily manipulated guard' began to protest.

"I know she isn't! But the people on this ward are. Especially the likes of him!" She nagged waving a hand in my direction. My eyebrows instantly lowered into a frown as I glowered at that bitch of a nurse. If only I had arms...if only. The thought of being trapped in this straitjacket was beginning to become sickening and unbearable. "Come on, Miss. Let's get you back to your ward."

Without an argument or a fight, Jezebel rose from her seat on the couch and wiggled her fingers at me before being led out of the recreation room. I smiled back. But no matter how cute she was, I still held grudges and she had just made my list of things to do as well as that fucking nurse. Jezebel waved to the table of guys playing poker before completely leaving the room, but that nurse returned with a seriously stern look engraved onto her face. "Mr Joker, it'll be time for your medication soon," she informed me, her eyes looking as if they were criticising every aspect of my body. I smiled insincerely at her and nodded, muttering profanities under my breath. She wandered off, her butt waddling in the process. If only, if only my arms were free.

[i]Tom & Jerry[/i] switched off and was then replaced with the sound of the overhead tannoy sounding out. "Patients; it's time for your medication. If you could all queue at the medication window in an orderly manner, please." It was Wendy and I could tell she had that fake smile plastered across her face. Hesitantly, I stood up from the sofa. I wasn't going to, but I saw two burly guards making their way towards me so I assumed they may have beaten me to a pulp if I didn't sit up earlier. [i]If only my arms were free[/i].

I made my way over to the window that had now been opened and waited my turn to be served with the loopy pills. When I reached the front of the line, Wendy was smiling at me with her toothy grin, pills at the ready. There were three pills in a small Dixie cup and each one she placed on my tongue, I "swallowed". In reality, I was just hiding them under my tongue. The last pill she placed on my tongue, she seemed to leave her finger in my mouth a little longer than necessary and when she did bring her finger back it was painfully slow. I was tempted to bite her, but I was too confused. Her fingertip slid down my tongue and then down my bottom lip and it flicked when she brought her hand away. I glared at her sceptically for awhile before showing her my bare tongue.

"Well done...Have a nice day," she hushed desirably. I think I just been finger fucked in the mouth. I mean, she had done worse to me, but that was only for medical information...I think. I was seriously beginning to doubt it. I cautiously backed away from the window and turned around still a tad bemused. Nevertheless, I soon forgot about it and when I made sure no-one was looking, I spat all three pills out and they scattered and skidded across the linoleum flooring. Now it was food for the rat infestation to feed upon. Hey, I was being considerate. It'd be amusing to see a malfunctioning chemical reaction happening in a rat once they had eaten the pills. It could possibly transform the rat into an Ultra Demon Super Rat. Well, there was a human bat running around Gotham, might as well add a rat to the mix.

Fuck. Look at what this place is doing to my head already. I'm imagining a transformation from a rat to an ultra rat. I seriously, seriously need to get out of here...quick.


	4. Schemers Trying To Control

Chapter 4: Schemers Trying To Control Their Little Worlds

"Get up, clown boy!" An unfamiliar voice exclaimed waking me from my beauty slumber. Without being able to acknowledge the command thoroughly, I was yanked up from my bed by the hem on the back of my scrubs. I gagged and choked over exaggeratedly when the collar dug into my Adam's apple. I noticed that the food that had exploded onto my cell wall was still dripping down and leaving grease trails along the places that it had previously touched. I was just amazed that the guards still hadn't noticed it yet. The smell had gotten even worse and now it had combined with a new damp and stale smell. Apparently, I had been sleeping face down in the pillow, judging by remnants of make-up staining the covers. How the hell was I breathing?

Still weary, I was dragged out of my cell and met with the ever so cheery nurse, Wendy. "Good morning, Mr Joker. I trust you slept well." It sounded like a question, but I couldn't be sure. I answered anyway.

"Just dandy," I replied sarcastically. Obviously I wasn't a morning person. "Sleeping on a lumpy bed, in a restricting straitjacket would be fit for a king, wouldn't you say, hmm? And not to mention my wonderful alarm clock in the form of a certain mindless ape wearing a white uniform." I glared at the orderly behind me as a hint, as he led me down the corridor. He retaliated by shoving me roughly forward and then jerking me back swiftly. The act was disorientating slightly, but painless nevertheless. I ignored him and focused back on Wendy. "Speaking of which, what's with the wakeup call? What have I done now, hmm?"

"You haven't done anything," Wendy replied. "It's time for you to get washed, that's all. Don't want our patients getting all messy and dirty now, do we?" Oh, you'd like that wouldn't you?

I groaned inwardly. Getting washed meant I had to take my make-up off and this was the only aspect left of me that stood for who I was and that made me different from anyone else. Asides from the scars, but they were pretty much irremovable. Even the green die was beginning to fade terribly. If I lose everything that was The Joker then I'm just going to turn into another clone of all these other boring fuckers in Arkham. I couldn't let that happen.

I was lead into a tiled room, which was still damp and steam filled from the previous showers that had been taken in that room. The automatic lights soon flickered on once I had first stepped foot in the shower room and I grimaced at the greasy, brown tiles which surrounded it. Limescale had begun to form in the gaps between each tile and strands of hair were matted to the walks belonging to other patients. I couldn't bring my thoughts away from who had previously been using these exact showers before. As I continued to glower at my new environment, Wendy had begun to take my straitjacket off and the orderly had now left the room.

"Strip," Wendy ordered simply as she stepped away from me.

"What's that?" I asked, ignoring her orders. She was holding what looked like a black and yellow, plastic gun.

"This is just a taser gun that the orderly gave to me for if you ever try something on me...BAM!" She screamed as she aimed the gun at me. Admittedly, I flinched, mostly just because I wasn't expecting it. She began chuckling at my reaction as I glared angrily at her. I didn't take lightly to be made the fool out of. I was The Joker around here, not her. I should be the one laughing. Her laughter died down and her expression transformed to a more serious one instantaneously. "But seriously, take your clothes off before I really do taser you."

"This is completely wrong," I protested as I crossed my arms over my chest. Intimacy and simple caressing is one thing, but exposing myself willingly in a situation other than sex was just something that wasn't going to happen easily. "Is this another one of your little games again?"

"No, no, no. This is standard procedure. How do you expect to take a shower when you're fully clothed? Don't be embarrassed. I'm a respectable nurse around here and I need to be professional in these situations. I could let the orderly back in instead of me, so he can look at your penis."

"No. Ah, that's alright," I assured yet I still didn't bother taking my clothes off.

"Well...what are you waiting for? Do you want me to turn around while you undress?" She questioned mockingly. I frowned at her again and then spun around as I grumbled profanities under my breath. Lazily, I yanked my scrubs top off over my head and swiftly pulled the bottoms down soon after. I stomped over under one of the shower heads and turned the knob. Water came gushing down and I deliberately didn't flinch at the bitter coldness of the water so that I didn't look like more of an idiot than she had already made me feel. She smirked as she eyed my uncomfortable expression as well as the extremely prominent goose bumps that had formed from the coldness. "You know, you can turn up the temperature by using the other knob," she informed before breaking into fits of giggles again. Angrily, my fist slammed down onto the other knob and turned it till the temperature was suitable.

"Thank you-ah," I hissed sarcastically. I faced away from Wendy and leaned backwards slightly, so that the water couldn't reach my face, yet it could still reach my body easily. I didn't even have to look at Wendy to know that she was staring at me quizzically.

"What are you doing?" She asked confused.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" I snapped back.

"I don't know; that's why I asked!"

"If you must know, I don't want my make-up to wash off."

"Ugh, you may as well just wash it off now. It's going to come off sooner or later. And make-up also ages your skin by ten years if you leave it on overnight. Your pores need to breathe," she lectured. I rolled my eyes at another one of her silly little stories.

"There you go again with one of your old wives tales. Can you just be quiet and let me have my shower in peace, hmm? It's bad enough that you're standing there, staring at me naked let alone annoying the hell out of me with your constant high pitched drone. So just...shush."

There was a moments silence before she broke it again. "You love it really."

I groaned loudly in frustration. There was just no shutting her up. Finally giving in to the struggle of keeping the leftover makeup on, I stuck my head under the running water and watched excess paint whirl down the drain along with my remaining vitality. It was going to come off sooner or later and the make-up that was left on had transformed into a vile colour and only covered patches of my face which looked more like leprosy than anything else. A mixture of red, white and black swirled in the water below me and it felt like a big part of me had just went down the drain with it. Goodbye, old Joker. My hands were placed flat against the tiled wall in front of me as I let the water consume me and trickle down my back. My hair was now completely soaked and all the curls had disappeared replacing them with only small ringlets; some matted to my forehead. At least Wendy was being quiet now; I could be at ease a little more. Nonetheless, it was still incredibly awkward to know that she was still standing behind me, probably ogling my naked butt. I was the one that needed that taser gun, not her. I could tell she was gagging for it and she was the one most likely to rape me. Sex wasn't one of the main priorities in my life and I held very little sexual desire for anything. Not that I held none at all, I'm only human after all and any man has an attraction to certain people. I could just handle my desires considerably more.

"I saw you were talking to Jezebel yesterday," Wendy stated breaking the silence yet again. I closed my eyes irritably and clenched my fists that were still against the wall.

"So..." I growled sharply. The tone she had used sounded as if she was nagging me. Like a jealous girlfriend. The naive ones who think that just because you look at a girl weirdly, you immediately like them. Except Wendy wasn't my girlfriend, but instead just a mere nurse who happened to work in the same place that I was confined in. I didn't like that and I should have just ignored her, not wanting to hear what else she had to say. Now that I had said something it could only lead to her talking nonstop.

"Well maybe you should know something about her. She's not normal you know. She's completely crazy," she stammered quickly.

"Well done, genius!"

"No, I mean you shouldn't talk to her because of that. You're not a crazy man...are you, Mr Joker? You're just a man who shares separate opinions from everybody else and you've just managed to wind up in here because of that. It's not because you're insane or delusional...right?" She questioned in a low, alluring drawl. I heard her taking slow steps towards me, making my head slowly turn around to look at her. Her eyes had that just-woken-up effect yet still maintained a look of temptation.

"I'm not crazy," I breathed out defensively.

"I know. I know," she reassured as she placed a hand on my back. Every muscle in my body immediately tensed up from the sudden, soft caressing. No touchy, no touchy. I would have assumed that she would have pulled her hand away, judging by my back spasm as a reaction, but she didn't. She left her now wet hand on my back and began to run her fingertips along the faded scars and battle wounds that I had gained over the years. "That's why you shouldn't talk to all the crazies in here. You're not like them, so you shouldn't associate yourself with their crowd." I didn't know what she was trying to achieve with this warning, but I wasn't going to listen to what a clearly insane, nymphomaniac had to say to me.

Gritting my teeth angrily, I turned around and grabbed her by her shoulders. "I don't know what you're trying to pull, but it isn't going to work," I growled as I shook her. "You can't tell me what to do, right?"

"As long as you're in this Asylum, I can tell you what to do. You must get tired of being the dominant one all the time, Mr Joker...don't you like it when a woman takes charge?" She questioned as she gently placed her hands on mine which were still on her shoulders then she slowly brought them down to her waist. She left her hands on mine so that I couldn't pull away.

"I can honestly say that I do not like it when women think they have the upper hand. Women should be quiet and obedient and willing to do whatever the dominant male orders them to do. Any man who thinks otherwise is either gay or is too afraid to say it because their wife or girlfriend is on her period. This is a man's world; the women just keep the men going, that's all. In reality, women crave for their man to dominate and reign over everything that that woman does. It's only natural. We humans are not that different from the animals, you see. There's always an alpha male in every group who has supremacy over everyone. It's funny, how you never see any females in charge, hmm? "

"Whatever," she sighed as she reached past me and turned the knob around, making the water shut off. The sudden realisation of being naked hit me and I immediately became self conscious about my body. Both my hands covered by genital area while Wendy walked off to fetch a towel. I snatched it out of her hand aggressively once she returned, holding a fresh pair of Arkham scrubs too. I dried myself off as quickly as possible and jumped into my scrubs. "All done, Mr Joker. Just let me know if you need anything else," she whispered in my ear while standing behind me. Her arm was wrapped around me, so that her hand lay flat against my stomach. Then she slowly slid her hand down onto my now covered crotch. "-Anything," she finished tightening her grasp making me flinch and gasp, mostly from pain.

"Anything?" I asked as I turned my head slightly so see she was biting her lip seductively.

"Anything."

"Stop calling me, Mr Joker. Just Joker is fine," I requested. Her hand retracted looking a little deflated at the minor request.

"Okay...Joker. Whatever you say," she mumbled with a sigh. After, she opened the door and called for the guard to come and strap me back into my straitjacket. She smirked almost evilly at me when the guard entered holding the jacket and then she scampered off, without a goodbye or even a wave. What did she want from me? One minute she's grabbing my junk and the next she's completely hostile. She's the one that deserved to be locked up in here. The little schemer! I hate schemers! If only I knew what she was hoping to achieve through this scheming. Or maybe she really was just a nymphomaniac.

.*.*.*.

A/N: A nymphomaniac is a woman who has an excessive sexual desire, just in case you're wondering.

Reviews are needed =D The story will progress more clearly as it goes, but right now it's just a little slow. Establishing characters and plots and shit. So yeah...I hope you're enjoying so far.

The chapter title is obviously a beautiful quote from the ever so gorgeous Joker himself...ah, beautiful.

R&R?


	5. Quid Pro Quo

It seemed that I had a busy schedule today, considering straight after I was dragged out of the shower rooms, I wasn't being led to the recreation room but instead, Dr Clarkson's. Unfortunately for her, I was in a rather vexed mood after today's events. It wasn't even the afternoon and already the day couldn't get any worse. My ill-manner and temper meant that Dr Clarkson was now a victim of the many possible and negative side-effects. Maybe I would have felt sorry for her if my mood hadn't been sullied so.

The walk leading to my quacks office was long and dreary. With every step I took the walls seemed to stretch twice the size, length ways. I'd give my right eye to go back to my cell in dire need of sleep. Every person who walked past seemed to walk in slow motion as they all eyed me carefully. Maybe it was because they didn't recognise me or maybe it was because of the now uncovered scars. Yes, these are scars carved on my face. Yes, I am comfortable with them. Eventually – when I had reached the office – the room was almost too bright for words. I almost flinched at the light beam shining through the one window in her office. My eyes narrowed as they adjusted from the dull corridors to the sudden bright light.

Audrey sat patiently at her desk, not having the decency to even acknowledge my presence and instead, continued writing scribbles down into her notepad. I cleared my throat not only to gain Audrey's attention but also to ensure that when I began speaking that my voice didn't crack from lack of talking. Her brown irises shot up to mine once she realised I was out of my straitjacket and ready to start the session. A smile played across her lips instantaneously after.

"Well, doesn't someone look handsome," she subtly complimented as she laid the pen flat against the desk. I rolled my eyes knowing that she was only trying to brighten my mood, sensing that I was currently in a rotten one from the lack of make-up. I said nothing. Seeing as her attempts to cheer me up failed, the smile soon vanished from her face and was now replaced with a more sympathising expression. "Look, I know you're not happy with your lack of make-up privileges, but please don't let it jeopardise this session. I've already been in trouble with Arkham for not getting a lot of notes during our last session. Literally, the only thing I managed to write down was; his face bled. Obviously, Arkham wasn't very happy about that and I'd strongly appreciate it if we were able to progress more thoroughly during this session."

Yet again, I said nothing back. However, I didn't have to do the talking. My stomach did that for me. Without any warning, it began monstrously growling at me, and both I and Audrey stared at my stomach as it had surprised both of us. My stomach had now officially begun eating itself. It wasn't until this sudden, growling, awakening that I had noticed I couldn't even remember the last time I ate. It had to be at least three days. The only meal that the staff in Arkham had attempted to give me was that oat slop that they had posted through my door and I didn't even eat that.

"Hungry?" Audrey asked once her eyes averted from my stomach. I nodded meekly in reply. "Well maybe you should eat your food instead of starving yourself."

"I would if I was actually given food," I snapped a little huskily from lack of speaking.

Her expression changed from a smug one to something that was more of a hybrid. Confusion was evident but also a sense of irritation. "What? You mean they're deliberately not feeding you?" Audrey questioned slowly with a hint of disapproval.

"The only food they've given me was one bowl of cereal which I didn't eat because quite frankly, ah, it looked like something that would crawl out of Batman's anus." It was all in cynical jest, but Audrey didn't find it amusing. Her upper lip twitched into a grimace.

"Uh, thanks for that. What a lovely image," she stated sarcastically. She sighed and shook her head out of the disturbed thoughts before her expression returned to its annoyed state. "Here," she started as she picked up a green apple that was sat upon her desk. "Have this." Without my approval she gently threw the apple towards me, but I happily and willingly obliged to catch it. "I see no reason for you to be ill-treated in such ways."

"Thanks, doc," I praised before taking a bite out of the apple. My brain was now switched onto survival mode from the lack of nutrition so I completely devoured the apple with an animalistic want in less than two minutes.

"I'll make sure that edible food is sent to your room on a regular basis in the near future," Audrey reassured still sounding somewhat harsh. "Now, asides being deprived from food, how has your stay in Arkham been?"

"Different," I replied monotonously.

Audrey picked up her pen and pulled her notepad closer to her as she readied herself for the session ahead. "So let's get started, shall we? I think your makeup should be a good starting point, considering that you are without it at the moment. You're clearly not trying to hide behind a mask of paint, so why do you choose to wear the clown makeup?" And so it began. The all serious, all professional questions.

"Look, listen; this is what's going to happen, okay-"

"Mr Joker-"

"Ah tah tah, let me finish. Just hear me out for a second. What we're gonna do here is...kind of a quid pro quo cadence, where you'll give me something I want and I'll answer one of your questions in return. Understand? The only way we're going to get anywhere in these sessions is if we both cooperate together."

Audrey leaned back in her chair with a bleary sigh. She twiddled the pen in her fingers as she debated the idea in her head, eventually coming to a conclusion. "I knew these sessions weren't going to be an easy task with you. But admittedly, your deal seems fair. I was naive to think that you'd answer my questions without a catch. So, now that you know my question, what is it that you want? And let me clarify that I want you to answer the questions sensibly and I don't want any of your requests to be too extreme."

To be honest, I wasn't expecting her to give in so easily. Not that I was complaining. I hadn't even thought about what it was that I desired most before asking for a favour. "Hmm...let's see," I mumbled as I drummed my fingers together. "I want...a hot cup of coffee. With milk and five sugars." The request was only small, but it was something I had been craving ever since I'd been confined in Arkham. I needed the sugar and caffeine to keep up my vitality.

"You like it very sweet. And I'm quite surprised with the simple request." She stood up from her chair and made her way over to the door. She opened it but only very slightly. She placed her face in between the small crack and spoke to the guard outside. "Can you please do me a favour and bring me a cup of coffee? With milk and five sugars?" She closed the door soon after speaking and then returned to her seat. "Will you answer my question now?"

"Not until I get my coffee." My knee fidgeted eagerly awaiting my coffee in the pleasant silence. I hadn't had a coffee in so long, or any drink for that matter. "Uh, are you married, doc?" I asked out of curiosity and to create mere small talk while I waited for my coffee to arrive.

"Not as if it's any of your business, but yes; I am married," she answered as she showed me the ring on her wedding finger. I had already seen it previously, but I just wanted to clarify. "May I ask as to why you're so curious?"

"No reason. Just, ah, small talk. Are you happy with him?" I asked bluntly.

"What's that supposed to mean? It sounds as if you're suggesting that I and my husband aren't happy together," she snapped tensely.

"I was only asking a question. There's no need to jump to conclusions," I defended myself, yet her vexed frown still creased her forehead.

Before another word was spat, a knock at the door shook away the awkward ambience. Audrey immediately rose from her chair and opened up the door. A guard stood in the door frame holding a white mug and Audrey happily took it from him with a quick 'thank you' in return. Eagerly my hands shot out for her to hand the coffee over to me. The smell of coffee instantly attacked my nostrils and I could practically taste it already. The once excited smile soon faded from my face when Audrey nonchalantly walked passed me – still holding the cup of coffee – and sat down at her desk. Noticing my deflated expression, Audrey smiled and took it another step further by bringing her lips to the cup.

"Hey! That's mine!" I protested, shooting up from the couch.

"Not until you answer my question. Now sit back down; you're making a scene. There are cameras watching us and guards are waiting outside ready to pounce on you if you make any advances," she teased as she swirled the coffee around in the mug. "Sit, Mr Joker."

I growled as I retreated back to my seat now truly annoyed on a whole new level. "This isn't what we agreed with."

"Answer the question and I'll give you your coffee."

"No, I want it now. I'm not going to answer until I get it," I argued, rather childishly.

"You know, you sound just like a spoiled little brat. You never happy unless you get what you want," she stated matter-of-factly as she gave in and walked over to me with the mug. I snatched it away from her as soon as it was within my grasp and then took a big gulp of the hot liquid. "What do you say? A little manners won't go a miss."

"Ah, thank you," I muttered mockingly before licking my lips quickly.

Audrey returned to her seat with an annoyed sigh and muttering something that was incoherent to me. "So, will you answer my question now that you have your coffee?"

"I will. Can you repeat your question, please?"

"Why do you choose to wear the clown make-up? Is it because you're afraid of-"

"Ah! You've already asked your question; you can't ask another. To answer your question however, I wear the clown make-up because it matches my persona. My title. What I'm known as. The Joker."

"I understand that, but why? Why did you decide you wanted to take this role?" She questioned.

"I'm not answering that until I get something else. That is a different question entirely. Maybe you should have been more specific with your questions and maybe you shouldn't have teased me with the coffee before, hmm," I suggested with deliberate spite.

"You're completely twisting my words. This is unfair. I already knew you wore make-up for that reason; I just wanted you to elucidate further with your reasons," she reasoned with me, her voice now increasing considerably higher from irritation.

"Well there's nowhere to elucidate to. I've answered your question like you asked. Whether it was to your standards or not, I still answered it, hmm."

Audrey merely glared at me in utter frustration as she ran a hand through her brunette locks. I applauded how patient she was being with me so far. She'd hardly raised her voice at all, as if shouting would get her somewhere. "Right...okay...let's forget about it. I hope you know that because you're failing to give me any useful information you'll have to be exchanged to another doctor. One that's less patient and one that you won't enjoy even more so."

"What makes you think I enjoy being with you?"

"You haven't tried killing me yet. I must be doing something right. Anyway, let's forget about it. What else do you want before I ask another question?"

"My paints," I answered abruptly. She'd been easy to sway so far, so I asked for something that would be more troublesome. Give her a little challenge. I wanted to keep up appearances and without my makeup, I wasn't The Joker. The paint tended to scare people as well as the scars, so it would make it a lot easier to bust out of here.

"Your paints? I don't think I'm allowed to do that."

"Well, I'm sorry. No answers for you then," I sang jokingly before licking my lips. I smudged the nude lipstick that Audrey had left on the mug with my thumb as I waited for her to come around. The silence that had blanketed the room was enough to say that she was thinking the scenario over.

When her voice echoed once again a smug grin pulled at the corners of my lips. "I'll see what I can do about it. It'll probably be out of my money too, I'll have you know. That alone should be an answer in advance."

"Not until I get my paints, my little sugar lump," I teased.

She growled quietly, bringing her watch up towards her face. "Well, I think our session is over anyway," she informed as her heals clicked over towards the door. She called in one of the guards who held a straitjacket. "Thank you, Mr Joker, for being a complete waste of time," Audrey sighed as I was forced to approach closer to where she was standing beside the door. She was a lot taller than I thought she was.

"Aw, toots, don't be like that," I purred in a low drawl. I raised my hand to pinch her cheek gently, until the guard yanked it back down and began placing the straitjacket on me. Nonetheless, I saw a smirk curl on Audrey's lips at the suggestion of the attempt. "Don't forget, doc, hmm?"

"I won't," she clarified with a smile before closing her office door after I had left. Admittedly, I was in a better mood now that I had had my session with Dr Clarkson. Maybe it was because my body now had caffeine pumping around or maybe I was happy that I was going to be getting my paints back. Now I was being escorted to the recreation room, where I'd mope in my wallowing boredom.

.*.*.*.

A/N: Just out of curiosity, who's your favourite girl at the moment? Someone's already told me that they seem to like Jezebel so far and thanks for that. I apologise that she hasn't been in it a lot though. She should be in it in the next chapter.

And thanks to the people who reviewed on FanFiction =D Much appreciated.

More characters should also be being introduced in the next chapter. Which is exciting. I've created a characters info on Mibba, if you want to check that out. It will also be updated next chapter.

Quid Pro Quo is the exchanging of items with equal value. Like 'tit for tat'. Apparently, it's a Latin term meaning 'something for something'.

Rate, Review, Comment & Subscribe etc, please? Anyway, hope you're enjoying it.


	6. Chaos Is A Friend Of Mine

Chapter 6: Chaos Is A Friend Of Mine

When I entered the recreation room, Jezebel was already sitting on the couch, her eyes fixated on the television screen. The scene was almost completely identical to how it was when I had previously been in here. Except Jezebel – in contrast to how she'd previously acted – looked almost livid, for some bizarre reason. Her vexed frown creased her forehead with uneven lines and her fists flexing were considerably noticeable. I made my way over to her, expecting her to start drilling into my ear drum with her constant talking. I sat as far away as possible from her, just so it was less likely for me to be molested again. However, when I passed her – accidentally nudging her on my way – she emitted an annoyed sigh almost leading into a growl. Surprised, I stared at her with one eyebrow raised in confusion. The frown had lowered even more so and now she was crossing her arms over her chest like a moody teenager.

"What's up with you? On your period?" I questioned, starting to get annoyed with her pissy attitude. I'd barely touched her and I could clearly tell she wasn't happy about it, in comparison to how she was the other day. She seemed so bubbly and spontaneous and now she had completely turned into a PMS-ing bitch. Jezebel didn't reply to my question; merely shook her head and returned her focus back to the screen.

I grumbled angrily and focused on the screen also. I kept telling myself that I was just going to ignore her and watch old people auction off valuables for spare cash on the TV. However, not only was that extremely boring but also I couldn't just let this whole situation drop. Her sudden attitude had gotten my attention and I wouldn't stop until I found out what was pissing her off. If it's me, then she's got no room to talk. Now that I'd annoyed her in the slightest, it was my turn to turn the tables and exasperate her even more than she had to me.

"Okay, little girl, what's wrong, hmm? I haven't been here for five minutes and already you're annoying me."

"Why are you talking to me? Just shut up, yeah? Your voice is doing my fucking head in," she snapped at me bitterly. And with that she returned to her moody, ignorant teenager stature. Now I was sincerely confused and even more infuriated now that she was making a scene. My eyes darted around the room and I soon became aware that a lot of heads had turned to look at the commotion. Once I had noticed them looking, however, they turned back around. She had to be one of the most hypocritical people I've ever come across and the fact that she was accusing me of having an annoying voice enraged me.

"Don't –" Before I had a chance to finish my sentence, Jezebel shot up from her seat with a growl and began storming away. "Hey! Where are you going?" I shouted, making her snap around and glare down at me.

"Why do you care? Does it matter? I'm going elsewhere; feel free to follow, but don't expect me to enjoy your company," she muttered in reply through gritted teeth. Then she continued with her walk. Or stomp is more like it. She sounded like a baby elephant and she wasn't graceful with her steps at all.

I decided to take up her request. Whether it was a serious request or not; I wasn't sure. If she didn't want me there, then she wouldn't have mentioned it. Now she had, I couldn't turn the offer down. She sat down at the table which was surrounded by the same four men that were sat here yesterday. Once she noticed I had followed her, her eyes widened and then her brow burrowed, yet she didn't utter a word of annoyance. She simply sat down in between two of the guys and folded her arms over her chest once again. I followed as she did and as soon as I sat down, I noticed that all four of the guy's eyes were focused on me. The guy to the right of me was the bestial looking guy that I had described before. His eyes looked a yellowy colour and his pressurising gaze instantly made me feel extremely small metaphorically and physically. I gulped hard when I realised I couldn't look away from him. The other guys weren't so bad, but this guy was a brute and I knew he could definitely smash me to smithereens if he tried.

Thankfully, Jezebel brought me out of my staring contest with the monster by introducing me briefly. "Guys, this is The Joker. Joker, these are the guys."

"Ah, you're not wearing your make-up. Almost didn't recognise you there," one of them stated. This man was the only man out of the four, which I knew of vaguely. This was Scarecrow – formerly Dr Jonathan Crane – who was another one of Batman's opponents. "You may already know me; I'm Jonathan Crane."

"You're the quack aren't you? You're the one who tried to instil fear upon everyone a few years back," I paused shortly after to laugh at his attempt. "You destroyed most of The Narrows, I'll give you that."

Crane didn't seem too amused at the fact that I was laughing at him. At least I had the decency to compliment him in the slightest. People these days; always too modest. Crane returned to his playing cards and began ignoring me like everyone else on the table.

"Are you playing, J?" Another asked and my ears perked up thinking that the he was talking to me. I later found out that he was referring to Jezebel and not me. My mood seemed somewhat deflated and I shrank back in my seat. If my arms weren't already crossed, then that would have been the moment that forced me to cross them, identical to how Jezebel had hers. In reply to the guy sitting to the left of me, she shook her head 'no'. Then his focus turned to look at me. "I'd ask you, but you're pretty much detained at the moment," he pointed out, signifying my straitjacket.

"Evidently, I am. And who might you be, hmm?" I asked, now that he was speaking to me.

"I'm Edward Nigma. Better known as The Riddler in here, however."

"Ah, like Enigma. Clever."

"You catch on fast there, Joker. I can tell you're a smart guy. Um, this here is Killer Croc. No-one calls him by his real name; Waylon Jones."

Go figure. He had an equally scary stage name in comparison with his appearance. I nodded my head in his direction and he did the same soon after. His face was emotionless and I was still yet to hear him speak. His silence was enough to say that he wasn't a big talker; but he wouldn't have to talk to be able to strike fear in anyone's hearts. Now, I'm a man who doesn't scare easily, but when you sit next to a guy like this it's pretty hard not to feel a little bit afraid.

"What about 'squinty eyes' over there?" I asked, indicating towards the guy sitting next to Jezebel. It had come to my attention that this guy had not taken his eyes away from me ever since I sat down. And the look he was giving me spoke louder than words. They were practically saying that he wanted to kill me. I pursed my lips and leaned forward slightly to take a closer look at him. "Is he blind?"

"No, no; that's Hush –"

"I can speak for myself, Nigma!" The man who I now know as, Hush, exclaimed. The Riddler rolled his eyes at his outburst. "I'm Hush. And if you've come over here to try and manipulate any of us, you've got another thing coming."

"Oh, I didn't plan on it, Hush. What made you think up such absurdities?" I joked, finishing with a lip smack.

"Don't act dumb, Joker. We all know you're trying to play us."

"Well, that's all that anybody ever does. Everybody plays each other. We play parts."

"Look –"

"Both of you; just shut up. Hush, give Joker a chance. Come on, can we all just have a game of cards without fighting," The Riddler suggested. I was indifferent on the idea anyway, considering that I couldn't play without my hands. Hush however, obeyed and picked his cards up yet his brows were still knitted together in irritation from our minor argument. I had a feeling I'd just created an enemy. This Hush guy...he was a tricky one. He's the kind of guy who'd jump the gun from being biased. He won't listen to both sides of the story as long as one of the sides sounds plausible. For example, that previous predicament. Hush didn't know me at all, although he may have heard stories about me from outside of Arkham. However, he shouldn't be so quick to judge.

Right now, I was on his bad side as well as Jezebel's. As for The Riddler and Crane, I was pretty much on mutual grounds. Croc was unpredictable, but if I could read people as well as I thought I could, then I'd say he was edging more onto Hush's side rather than mine.

When the game of poker commenced, I started off being fully interested in the game. That was until I noticed Jezebel still hadn't taken her irate eyes away from me and then my focus was all on her. I noticed she was miming something to me, but I couldn't decipher her message. As I chewed on the inner scar tissue, I narrowed my eyes and leaned forward to take a closer look at what she was trying to convey. I'd never been able to lip read so the notion was near enough pointless. I raised an eyebrow in perplexity and mouthed the words 'I don't know what you're saying' to Jezebel, hoping that she was a better lip reader than I was. Everyone else on the table seemed oblivious to mine and Jezebel's silent argument, so we carried on. She mimed words, which I can only imagine were either profanities or expressions of hatred. Mine were just of misinterpretation.

Evidently, Jezebel's infuriation was rising with each and every word we mimed and I wasn't going to stop until she totally lost it all. I saw a nurse walking up behind Jezebel and I knew she was going to ruin all the fun, because Jezebel wasn't supposed to be here.

She tapped her gently on the shoulder and Jezebel slowly turned around to stare at her with a malicious look in her eyes. "Miss Origliasso, I suggest you go back to your own ward." And with that Jezebel fully transformed into Mr Hyde. The legs of the chair squeaked along the linoleum and then crashed to the ground as Jezebel stood up in fury and before the nurse had a chance to lecture, Jezebel brought her foot up to her chest and sent her flying backwards.

"I suggest you shut the fuck up!" Jezebel screamed and for a moment it didn't even sound human. It was as if she was possessed by the devil. She gathered saliva in her throat noisily – not very ladylike – and spat at the nurse venomously. At this point, I was almost on the floor in hysterics and five or so guards were rushing towards the scene ready to incapacitate Jezebel. Everyone's attention on the table had now turned to the wrestling match between Jezebel and the guards. Her screaming was now a cacophony. The skin on her knuckles were white and bulging. However, one girl was no match against a group of fully grown men. Though she did put up a good fight.

My laughter ceased for a moment when I heard the chair to the right of me move. It was Croc. He was standing up and this was the first time I'd seen him in full length. He was towering over me vastly and I swore the top of his head wasn't far from touching the ceiling. I had no reason to be afraid though. His eyes weren't set on me; they were set on the fight happening in front of us. Slowly, he walked closer to the fight and then my laughter increased, to the point where I couldn't breathe properly and tears were almost rolling down my face. I could just tell what was going to happen next.

When Croc emitted a monstrous roar, he viciously and easily threw one of the Arkham guards across the floor. The guard was actually thrown a fair distance away, combined with the distance he had slid across the floor. The scene was absolutely chaotic and I was enjoying every minute of it while it lasted. Nurses were crowding around screaming at the top of their lungs, wanting to help but knowing they'd be no use. Even more guards had joined the fight both trying to wrestle Croc and Jezebel. Some were brandishing what could only be described as a chain and a collar. I assumed that it was for Croc. Wow, that's not dehumanising at all. Note the sarcasm. But then again, how else were they going to control and tame this beast; and I say that in the least demeaning way.

By the time the guards had managed to lock the collar around Croc's neck – after much wrestling and struggle – Jezebel was being pushed and dragged through the recreation room double doors, all the while kicking and screaming. I was still chuckling to myself when all the commotion stopped, while everyone else at the table and in the room either looked indifferent or worried.

I heard the tannoy speakers switch on and a nurse's shaky voice filled the room. "Could all patients please make their way to the medication window? It's medication time." Hurriedly, I stood up from my chair and rushed over to the window. Oh yeah, first in line...what the hell? Why was I so eager to get here? I'm possibly slightly delirious from what had just happened. My eyed widened when the nurse who was standing at the window wasn't Wendy. It was that strict, old, bitch which I encountered previously.

"Open wide, Mr Joker," she ordered as she picked up a plastic Dixie cup. I laugh snorted at the pun, but I refrained from making any jokes. I did as I was told and let her place the pills on my tongue, each time pretending to swallow them. I was about to walk away and spit them out, before the nurse intervened. "Ah ah, Mr Joker, get back here. Please open your mouth and raise your tongue." Ah, damn. This nurse was more experienced and less naive than Wendy; I should have known. Hesitantly I raised my tongue and the hidden pills became evident. She let out an annoyed sigh and shook her head. "Mr Joker, you have to take these pills. It's for your own benefit. If you fail to take these, you're not hurting anyone but yourself," she lectured, with her thin eyebrows raised and a smug fucking smile forming on her red lips. Fuming, I began crunching on the pills instead of swallowing them as I glared lividly into her eyes. "How do you feel, Mr Joker? Are you alright?"

"...Just peachy," I replied cynically before meandering over to the couch with my muscles tightening from irritation. I slumped into the couch and stared up at the screen. Just my luck that it was now turned off.

"Oh...hey, Joker!" I heard a familiar voice holler to the right of me. It was Wendy looking slightly unkempt. Strands of hair were falling messily out of her bun and perspiration had begun to form above her brow. She placed herself on the edge of the couch a few feet away from me and tucked stray hairs behind her ears. "Didn't I warn you about Jezebel? I told you she was crazy. She has a severe case of the bi-polar disorder, you see; hence her outburst just then. You may think she's sweet innocent one second...but you could be wrong," she informed. "Maybe I should have told you that earlier on. Saves for you having to find out first hand. I just had to help take her back to her cell and she can be quite a brute at times."

"I think I like her even more," I stated monotonously, internally wishing that she'd just disappear. Her sigh of displeasure was enough to say that she wasn't pleased with what I'd said. I chuckled before saying, "You can't possibly be upset about that. Do I have permission to like people, nurse? Oh, please say I do."

"Don't mock me, Joker," she warned and then stood up before walking off. I guess I just wasn't a much liked person today.

*.*.*.*

A/N: Thanks for comments, reviews and all that jazz. =]

Character's list has been updated on Mibba.

The 'I suggest you shut the fuck up' part is a close reference to the film, Jennifer's Body. It's really good and I recommend it. A girl called Needy is in an asylum and she says something along those lines to an orderly.

The chapter title is a quote from Bob Dylan. He wrote on the back of one of his albums "I accept chaos but does chaos accept me." And then when it was brought up in an interview he said "Chaos is a friend of mine. It's like I accept him, does he accept me."

Reviews, subs, comments, blah blah blah. You get the idea =]


	7. The Joker

**Chapter 7: The Joker**

I was excited. Sad, I know, but today was the day I got my paints back. I was just waiting for the guards to open my door and take me to Audrey's office. It wasn't because of the excitement that I was already up, no. No, I was up because recently during my confinement in Arkham I had slowly began to grow a small case of insomnia. Sleeping in an unusual environment can do that to you. So far, the insomnia hadn't caused any major side effects. I was a little drowsy in the afternoons, but nothing too serious. Eventually, I knew it would expand into a bigger problem, but I'd deal with that when the time comes around.

Startled, I jumped up from my bed when I heard the metallic clinking coming from the other side of the cell door. It was my wakeup call. When the door opened, a guard – which I had become familiar with – appeared holding the same nightstick. This time, however, he couldn't call me 'clown boy'. I wasn't wearing the paints. Soon, I will. Very soon.

"Come on clown boy, time to go," he ordered. Oh...I was wrong. I apologise. It's a rather stupid nickname now, seeing as it's completely irrelevant to my appearance. Nevertheless, I didn't bother pointing the fault out and happily obeyed his orders. I was heaved down the hallways as usual and led to the same little, homely office.

Audrey sat smiling cheerfully, this time recognising my entrance. Once my straitjacket was off, Audrey nodded towards her door, signalling for the guards to leave.

"So?" I started, eagerly awaiting my paints.

"I have your paints," she started as she brought all three pots out of a plastic bag. "But I want you to answer a question of mine before I give the bag to you...please?"

I sighed and rolled my eyes. "Fine! I guess you deserve it this time, seeing as I didn't think you'd actually get these for me."

"Thank you! And please...no more shtick. I don't want another half assed answer – for lack of a better word. I know you're a very charismatic man and you have a lot to say for yourself, so don't hold back any punches...not literally. Just quit with the one word answers." I nodded understandingly and raised my cuffed wrists in the air as I yawned. I placed my hands behind my head and rested against them. "Okay, my question is; what motivated you to do what you do? I know the question seems very vague, but all I'm looking for is an explanation of that one thing that pushed you over the edge completely. Share your outlook with me."

She did deserve an answer after all. It was the least I could give her in return for the requests. Besides, expressing my view on life may not be such a bad idea. She was right; I am a very charismatic guy and I'd like to see myself as someone who can be very persuasive. My opinions and views are very strong and I'd be able to show anyone the true colours of human nature if I was given the time. "I was watching a children's cartoon the other day on the TV. _Tom & Jerry_ to be exact. Have you ever noticed how violent that show can be? That mouse must have shoved at least ten sticks of dynamite in that cat's mouth and still it survived."

"What's that got to do with my question?" Audrey asked bemused.

"Don't you see? Even the smallest of children are able to find pleasure in random acts of violence and other's misfortune. Everyone's born evil. Not one person is born without an evil streak running through them. Have you noticed how firstborns have a natural instinct to randomly pull someone's hair?"

"Youngsters also have a natural instinct to hug and kiss others."

"That's when they've grown up a little. When they're told that being violent is a bad thing to do. That's if the parenting's good. The only thing keeping people from unleashing their true wickedness is rules. Society's rules. And I'm not trying to say that media influences violent behaviour in children. I don't believe in that media violence debate. I believe the violence is already inside the child without any need for an influence. Do you have children, doc?" I asked as my eyes searched the room. I was looking for a picture frame or photograph that held her and her family in it, but I failed in finding any. Only diplomas and certificates hung from the walls. Not even her and her husband could be seen.

"No, I don't."

"Good! I hate the little brats!" I exclaimed. "Doc, I just noticed that you don't have any pictures of you and any of your family and friends in your office. Bit of a workaholic?"

"I love my job, yes. Don't get me wrong, I love my family too."

"Ah, I see. You're a working freak who loves her job. You're trying to get somewhere in your life and your one focus is all on this job. You're a bit of a schemer aren't you, Audrey?"

"I'm not scheming for anything. I just love my job and I want to continue with it. If that's classed as scheming, then isn't everyone just a schemer in the end? I've held a deep interest in the human mind ever since I started High School, so I didn't see why I shouldn't aim for this job in the future. I aimed and I achieved; I don't see anything wrong with that. You have to be scheming too, no matter how many times you try to deny it. You're trying to prove something by doing what you do, so therefore you must scheme to get to where you want to be. And by the way, you still haven't answered my question clearly. I asked what motivates you and I'm still a bit wary."

"In a nutshell, I do what I do to make people see what I see. The truth behind all of the rules and life's pretty little cocoon it's been wrapped in. The only way to live is without rules," I finished.

"Well that's just your opinion. I completely disagree with your way of life."

I growled and brought my hands down to my lap. "Look, obviously we're complete opposites and you still clearly don't see where I'm coming from, but soon – you'll see. I do appreciate your boldness. You're not afraid to express your own opinion and I like that. I like you. I assure you, when I'm out of this place and dominant over all of Gotham, your death shall be quick and painless." Her eyes widened in fright, now seeing that she didn't detect the jest in my voice. "– I'm joking. I'm The Joker – it's what I do. I make jokes. Hence my title." Now that I'd said it, I wasn't even sure myself if I was joking. If I did have reign over all of Gotham, what would I do? I wouldn't know where to start. This is where I refer back to my dog-chasing-car's system of life.

Audrey breathed a sigh of relief as she chuckled slightly. "Oh, thank God."

"Do you want to hear another one? Two men walk into a bar – you'd think one of them would have seen it." I heard Audrey laugh. I actually heard her laugh for once. It was a change from her more serious side. "I was beginning to think you had no sense of humour."

"I do have a good sense of humour," she argued still chuckling slightly. "It's just that nothing you've said previously has amused me. I mean, all you've said to me are negative things on the way you look at life. What reason do I have to laugh?"

"Have you heard the one about the psychiatrist?" I asked.

"Please, whatever you do, do not tell me a joke about a dead psychiatrist or any other sick and twisted jest you have that involves psychiatrists. I don't want to hear it."

"No, no, no. It's not an ill-humoured joke at all. In fact, I think both of us will be able to relate to it," I protested before clearing my throat. "How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?" One of Audrey's eyebrows rose in thought, but soon after, she shrugged her shoulders in defeat. "Only one. But the light bulb has to _want_ to change first."

She sighed and leaned back in her chair, not even a smile tugging at the corner of her lips. "That's not really funny. I'm assuming you're seeing yourself as the light bulb in this situation."

"Of course. Maybe you should think about that joke. It has a very strong serious undertone in it. Maybe it will help you recognise how incurable I am. I'm happy with the way I live and even you must know I'm not going to change for anybody. Come on, doc, you're not that stupid. These sessions are a lost cause – time fillers if anything. You must know this, yet you still try and 'cure' me – why?"

"I've told you before; I love my job. Meaning I love my patients. I'll do anything to help them. Even if they are just 'time fillers' as you like to call them, at least I'm there for you. And in some ways you're right, I believe you can change if you actually wanted to. But it's hard to force someone into another way of life when they absolutely don't want to."

"Your love for your patients is a strange one, Miss Clarkson – I'm sorry...Mrs. But I think that's exactly why I like you. You clearly do love your job and patients, as stupid as that sounds. You look at things from both points of view, instead of your view being the only plausible one. In some ways, I really do feel as if you understand me. Not completely obviously; but admittedly you have listened to me and understood the main key points. But just because you know me, doesn't mean you can obscure my negative outlook on humankind." She nodded understandingly, yet she still held the ever remaining determination in her eyes. She definitely wanted to change me. She saw some potential in me. But she battled in her own mind if she could actually pull it off. One side was stronger than the other. The doubt was overpowering the small remaining determination left, but it seemed as if the battle would never end. It wouldn't end until I was no longer one of her patients. I'd either escape (most likely) or she finally would cure me (highly unlikely).

Audrey glanced at her watch and I already knew this was the signal that this session was about to end. "Okay, Mr Joker. Time's up. You can have your paints. Is there anything else you want to request in exchange for an answer in our next session?"

I thought for a second before an idea instantly popped into my head. "I want this straitjacket to be removed permanently." Audrey's expression wasn't as shocked as I was expecting for the request. She looked more confused than anything else.

"Haven't you heard?"

"That the bird is word?"

She chuckled slightly before continuing, "No. Haven't you been informed that Arkham has been planning to remove your straitjacket as of today? Apparently, so far you've shown nothing but good behaviour and therefore he's planning to run a test trial without your straitjacket on. I can't believe no-one's told you."

"I was not aware of that at all. Thanks, doc. What time are they planning on taking it off?" I asked, now even more excited than receiving my paints.

"I'm not sure. Sometime this afternoon, I guess. Now seeing as that request is already done, more or less, how about another request?"

"A kiss." This request received the shock factor I was hoping for.

"What? I can't kiss you. That's a violation of the 'no relationships between a doctor and a patient' rule. I know how much you like to break rules, but I however, want to keep my job. Right now, we are being watched by a CCTV camera, so I'd definitely get caught."

"Just one little kiss. Not even on the lips. Just a small one on the cheek, it won't harm anyone. I know you're tempted to. I'm like the forbidden fruit and the fact that you're already married makes me that much more forbidden and tempting, does it not?"

"I can honestly say, it doesn't. I have no desire to kiss you whatsoever."

"Liar," I sang, aiming to annoy her. "Liar, liar, liar." I saw a smile wanting to curve at her lips at my taunting, but instead she rose from her seat and walked over to me.

"You're clearly beginning to get restless and this session ended minutes ago. Maybe it's time you leave, huh?" She questioned before opening her office door. "Can you take him away, please?"

"Sure. There will be no need to place his straitjacket back on him, Dr Clarkson," the guard informed. Instantaneously after, I felt free.

***.*.*.***

**A/N: Woah, death by dialogue. Sorry for the huge chunks of talking, but I found it necessary. Not much action happens in a office.**

**The chapter title is pretty self explanatory. The Joker. This chapter involved jokes. Hence the chapter title.**

**I'm not actually sure if there is a Tom & Jerry episode where Jerry shoves dynamite in Tom's mouth, but it seems like a possible thing to happen. If it hasn't happened, I've seen much worse happening in the cartoon. Not Itchy & Scratchy extreme though.**

**The 'I assure you, your death will be quick and painless' quote is something similar to what Stewie from Family Guy said. When I heard him say it, I immediately thought of it as something The Joker would say. A lot of things Stewie says, reminds me of The Joker.**

**Rate, review, comment, blah blah blah. =]**


	8. You're Cute When You Scream

**Chapter 8: You're Cute When You Scream**

As soon as I was heaved into my cell, I jumped onto my bed. I poured the contents of the bag onto the bed in front of me and stared down at all of the paints. They better be good. I was about to open the lid off the white paint when something hit me. Metaphorically speaking. Something which I had forgotten about whilst I was lost in my eagerness to get my paints back. I slowly raised my hand to my jaw and felt the skin. Fucking stubble. Stupid fucking masculinity, making me grow hair around the face so now I can't put the make-up on. My happiness immediately shattered and was now overpowered by blind rage. It's strange how the littlest of things could flip your day right around.

I wrenched one tub of paint from off the bed and launched it across the room. It ricocheted from off the wall and fell to the ground. I did the same to the other two pots of paints and found that it was actually relieving me of some stress. Over and over again I threw the paints and just as I was about to throw the red one for the fourth time, my cell door opened. Expecting to see an Arkham guard curious about all the noise, instead I saw Dr Clarkson staring at me quizzically. She'd caught me. In a funny way, you could say I've been caught red handed. Haha – no, I'm sorry. That was a bad joke.

Once Dr Clarkson closed the door, she began speaking. "What are you doing? Is this the thanks I get for buying you these paints, huh? What's wrong now? Not the right paint?" She asked mockingly.

"I can't put it on," I growled in reply and slammed the pot of paint to the floor.

"D'you need help?"

"No! It's not that! I can't put the paint on with a beard!" I exclaimed.

"Oh, I see. Well I don't know what to suggest, Mr Joker. I'm sorry."

"Go get me a razor," I ordered instantaneously after.

"You can't be trusted with a razor."

I walked up to her and grabbed her by the shoulders. "Please, I'm begging you. Go get me a razor," I ordered through clenched teeth. Pleading wasn't something I was used to doing naturally. So, this situation had to be extreme to make me beg like this. When she didn't answer back I started shaking her by her shoulders. "Please!"

"Okay, okay! I'll see what I can do," she sighed in defeat just to appease me. I knew I could depend on her. She's so easily persuadable. It's as if she'd do anything for me. I'm not sure if she's just scared of me or if she really is devoted to her job and her patients like she claims.

When she left the room, there was nothing else for me to do except wait her arrival. The paints scattered across my room were taunting me. I couldn't take a moment longer without them. The paint was like an extra layer of skin of which I had become attached too and now that it had been taken away from me, it was almost like taking away my oxygen. Well, maybe not that extreme. All I know is that I can't function properly without it.

My smile stretched my scars when I saw Audrey re-enter the room holding a bag in one hand, which I could only assume were items needed to remove my facial hair. The smile soon faded when I noticed that in her other hand was that damned straitjacket. I slammed my head back on to the pillow behind me and began writhing on top of the bed sheets. "What is wrong with this place? What did I do? I didn't do anything to deserve that strait- "

"Will you shut up? You creating a scene! You're only going to wear this straitjacket while I shave you," Audrey explained as she walked closer to me. She began wrestling me to force me to stop wriggling.

"I don't want you to shave me! I can do it myself!"

"Have you been taking your pills? You're pills were supposed to calm you down and decrease the chances of your anger outbursts. Have you taken them?"

Nonchalantly I stopped moving and tucked my hands underneath my head. "Maybe. What's it to you?"

She sighed agitatedly as she ran a hand through her hair. Wrestling me had tired her out and she now looked as if she wanted to kill me. "Look, if you don't take those pills you're going to cause problems for yourself and everyone else."

"Hey! I took them once!" She shook her head and decided to forget about attempting to sway me into taking my pills. It was a lost cause.

"Let me put this on you and then I'll be able to get rid of this stubble. I'm sorry, but you can't be trusted to handle any sharp objects while you're in here. I promise it'll come straight off when I've finished." I debated the idea in my head, but I soon realised thinking was only wasting my time. Defeated, I raised my arms out and rolled my eyes. Audrey smiled seeing she had won and slid the straitjacket onto my arms. When she had fastened it, I sat on the edge of the bed waiting for her to do her worst. Once she had grabbed the can of shaving cream out of the bag, things instantly became awkward. The sudden realisation of what was going to happen made me feel uneasy. This was...intimate – in a funny way. I could see Audrey felt the same. She was hesitating obviously with putting the cream on my face.

Seeing as I saw no more attempts to put this cream on my face, I had to break the silence somehow. I cleared my throat before saying, "Well? What are you waiting for, hmm?" She swallowed hard before squirting some of the blue gel onto her hand. Her left knee rested on the edge of the bed as she started for my face, but yet again retracted her hand.

"Okay, I'm going to apologise in advance if I even remotely touch your scars. I don't mean to offend you or make you awkward in way –"

"Just do it," I interrupted, annoyed with her childish stuttering. My harsh interruption startled her and immediately after she began smearing and rubbing the cream on my jaw, being careful around the dead skin of the scar tissue. After doing a perfectionist job with the shaving cream, Audrey filled up a bowl of water in the metallic sink beside the toilet.

"Do they...do they still hurt?" Audrey asked quietly from across the room. She was deliberately not looking at me in the eyes, not wanting to see my reaction to the question.

"What do you mean?" I asked. I knew what she meant; I just wanted to clarify.

"Y-your scars."

"Oh. No. Not anymore anyway." Once again the awkward silence consumed. She returned to the bed holding the water and placed it on the window sill beside the bed. After she took the razor out of the bag and brought it close to my face.

"Once again, I apologise if I cut you. I've never done this before," she explained and started making a deliberate outline around my scars with the razor.

"Seriously? I'd imagine you'd be the lovey dovey type with your husband. I really can see you shaving your husband's face adoringly. I do feel obliged knowing that I'm the first man you've shaved. I stole your...face shaving virginity. How do you feel?"

"Please don't make this any more awkward than it has to be. And be quiet, I'm trying to concentrate," she snapped and then continued with the shaving. I sighed, already bored of the silence. So far, Audrey hadn't made any faults or even nicked my skin in the slightest. She really was a perfectionist with everything she did. I was bored with her ever so perfect ways so I decided to shake her up a bit.

"Ahh! Oh my God! Ahh, it hurts so bad," I exclaimed as I flinched away from her. Fear immediately shot into her eyes and she pulled away from me.

"Oh no! I'm so sorry! What have I done? Please, let me have a look," she ordered as she brought her face closer to mine to look at the faux wound. Her panicked expression was hilarious. I couldn't stifle the laughter any longer. The laughter started with a soft chuckling but it grew into full on cackling.

"Just kidding! You are so easy," I laughed.

Audrey shook her head disapprovingly as she rolled her eyes, but she ignored me over the sound of my laughter. Once she had finished with the razor she placed it in the bowl of water and then picked up a flannel from out of the bag. She removed the remnants of the shaving cream away from my face; I think deliberately moving extremely slowly along the scars. My brow furrowed when she eyed them more carefully and run the towel along them with more precision. She laid the towel beside the bowl and then brought her fingertips to my left scar. Now both my eyebrows lowered even further and I simply glared at her maliciously.

When she noticed my expression, she backed off and returned to her stumbling, uneasy self. "What are you doing?" I asked slowly before licking my lips. She began fiddling with her fingers, searching for the answer, but no coherent words escaped her lips.

"Uh, I-I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. I didn't mean to offend you," she stuttered.

"You're cute when you're scared. Do I scare you, Dr Clarkson?"

"Normally; no. I don't know why I'm so awkward. Maybe because it's the first time we're actually officially alone. There are no cameras in here," she hushed.

"Oh really?"

"There's also a guard outside, so don't think I won't call for help if you try anything. Anyway, let's get that straitjacket off, shall we?" She asked as she unbuckled the straps. Once it was off, I felt around my face. Smooth as a baby's butt. "So, you're free to put on your make-up now."

"Look, I don't have a mirror, so you're going to have to do that for me too," I commanded as I pointed towards the paints still on the floor. "Go on, pick them up. And hurry with it."

"But I'm going to have to touch your scars again," she protested, being hesitant in picking up the pots.

"Well, you've already done it once without my permission; you may as well do it again. You know you want to molest my scars, don't act all coy and innocent, you silly woman." She obeyed my orders and picked up the pots of paints from off the floor. She returned to the bed and unscrewed the lid off the white paint. She smeared some of it onto the towel where it didn't have the shaving cream residue and then began rubbing the paint onto my face gently. "Uh, don't be harsh with that paint. Come on, be quick about it," I ordered, aiming to annoy her more than anything.

"I am! Stop shouting at me!" She exclaimed in a high pitched tone. She let out a heavy sigh in irritation and continued wiping the paint onto my face. I smiled seeing how cantankerous she was becoming. When she started on my eyes, she pushed my hair back tugging it slightly in a deliberate act to hurt me. I hissed in pain and she simply smiled at me vengefully. She made careful circles around my eyes, but smudged it as she neared the end, knowing I liked the make-up messy. Then it got to the intimate part. The lips and the scars. I licked them quickly tasting the white paint as she rubbed some red paint onto her finger tip.

I watched her smooth work as she ran her soft skin along my cracked lips. It was safe to say that this predicament was awkward for both of us. It was almost cringe worthy. Now I couldn't even talk to break the silence because my lips were already occupied. The awkwardness reached a whole new level when she started for the scar. Her eyes shot up to mine with pure fear in them as if asking for permission to continue. When I didn't flinch, she took this as a sign that she could continue. She did it slowly, but she showed no signs of disgust or repugnance. The way she ran her fingers along my scars was an easy task for her because she was more interested in them than afraid.

She looked almost upset when she had finished her work and had to pull away from the scars. But soon after she smiled as she admired her work of art. "All done," she stated before washing her hands in the sink. She sat down on the bed beside me and simply stared at me.

"Ah, thanks for that, doc," I praised uncomfortably.

"If the reason for the clown make-up is to hide your scars then you really don't need to. Seriously, they aren't that bad. But then again – like you said – you do want keep up the persona, so I guess it's best to keep the paint." I nodded not knowing what to say to that. There was silence again as she continued to stare at me making me feel even more uneasy. "Mr Joker?"

"Hmm?" I turned my head slightly to look back at Audrey. She quickly glanced towards the window in the door and then turned back around. Quickly she grabbed my face and placed her lips on my cheek just below my scar. It was a lengthy kiss so it made up for the fact that it wasn't on the lips. I was still a little shocked that she had given into the temptation. What would her husband think? Or anyone else for that matter.

"You owe me a question," she pointed out as she wiped away white make-up from her lips. She quickly stood up from the bed and started towards the cell door.

"Wait," I blurted out. It immediately caught her attention and she spun around a little too eagerly. Audrey stared at me expectantly awaiting a continuation. "Come here for a second," I ordered huskily. One of her eyebrows rose, wary of what I was aiming to do. Slowly she edged forward, but kept her distance away from me. I reached my hand out for her and she merely stared at it, not knowing what to do. "Come on. I want to see you ring," I clarified.

Still hesitant, Audrey raised her hand so that her fingertips touched mine delicately. I swear the breath had been taken away from Audrey's lungs because I hadn't heard her inhale or exhale since I called her over. Her eyes were wide open unknowing with what might happen next. I slipped her hand into mine and ran my thumb along her wedding finger slowly and softly. My thumb traced both the wedding ring and the engagement ring carefully, but focused more on Audrey's expression rather than anything else. She eyed every movement with my hand, looking almost paralysed by my gentle touch. I grinned smugly when she was the one who linked her fingers with mine first, falling into the temptation. Finally, she exhaled heavily when she had done it.

"Do you feel better now?" I asked quietly. She smiled a nodded her head in reply. "Great," I chirped before tightening my grip on Audrey's hand.

"Hey! What are you doing?" She asked getting worried. My grip tightened further and now she was struggling in pain. "Stop it! You're hurting me."

"You just couldn't resist could ya? Huh?" I questioned menacingly as my grip continued to tighten. She began to shrink to the floor desperately trying to escape my grip, but it was no use. Both of her hands were trying to desperately to claw at mine as quiet sounds of pain passed through her lips. "You should know better, Dr Clarkson. You should know what I'm capable of. You are the doctor after all. Did you think that I was going to be all soft and gentle with you, just because I haven't made any threats against you?" I chuckled. "You are sadly mistaken, toots."

"Please! Stop! I'm begging you!" She screamed with tears now brimming at her eyes.

"Oh, you're cute when you scream too," I said slowly and huskily. My grip continued to tighten increasingly faster and I could feel her rings crushing against the bones in her fingers. The pain was too much for Audrey and the tears were now falling heavily from her eyes. I grabbed a fist full of her hair when she ran her nails down my thigh painfully. As I yanked her head back she emitted a loud scream for help. My head shot towards the cell door almost certain that that would have attracted the guards' attention. Soon after, I slapped my hand over her mouth to stop her from screaming further and pushed back onto the floor. I straddled her waist to keep her pinned and looked at her threateningly. Her screams came out muffled and she was even attempting to bite my hand.

Before I had a chance to threaten her to stop, a group of guards burst through the door ready to attack. I was torn away from her body and her screams no longer came out muffled. One of the guards – who weren't attacking me – helped Audrey up shakily. Now only little whimpers managed to escape her lips as the guard held her up straight. She watched me with tears still in her eyes as I was beaten by at least four guards, but I merely laughed at the attacks. I noticed her bottom lip tremble as she was taken out of the room, not taking her eyes off me all the while. I knew that look. She looked at me as if I was a monster. I'm not a monster.

**.*.*.*.**

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews on FanFiction again =)**

**The chapter title is from a song called 'You're Cute When You Scream' by a band called 'Senses Fail' off the album 'Let It Enfold You'. It's a good song. Full of revenge and hate. In fact, Senses Fail are amazing band. I recommend them if you haven't already heard of them. Their lyrics are really good.**

**I'm sorry but I can't help but make Joker an asshole. It's the way he is. I'm sorry if you were lulled into thinking he was going to be all cheesy with Audrey. I like his aggressive side anyway. =P**

**But they kind of kissed. Kind of. So hopefully that will be enough to shadow the fact that The Joker was a dickhead in this chapter.**

**I've noticed that people have been telling me that they like my version of The Joker. I know I can't keep him in character 100% like Heath Ledger's, which is what I'm trying to aim for, but at least my version is likeable too. Even if he is a little different, but it's really hard to make him perfect.**

**Comment, review, subscribe, blah, blah, blah.**


	9. Escape Attempt 1

**Chapter 9: Escape Attempt #1**

After today's event I was in a rather good mood. The fact that I had inflicted pain on someone managed to fulfil my desire to upset the established order, even if the act was only minor. Also, I felt a lot freer now that the straitjacket was removed completely and I was able to use my paints whenever I considered necessary.

On my way to the recreation room, I had one main objective planted in my head. Get hold of Jezebel Origliasso. I had said, as soon as I was allowed out of my straitjacket, I was going to tear her apart and eat her up. And that's exactly what I had in mind at the moment. She brought this fate upon herself. She'd teased me and now it seems as if that was an unfortunate thing to do for someone in her current position.

There she was in plain view, just about to sit down at the poker table with all her lovely friends. I rushed over to her quickly and before she had a chance to sit down, I grabbed her by the shoulders. "Jezebel, you little witch! Guess who has their arms free?" I asked venomously.

Her response was something I was sincerely not expecting. She began coughing uncontrollably and she collapsed into my arms. I knew I could be scary but I didn't know I had this effect on people. Her nails were clawing into my exposed arms as she tried to balance herself, but failed miserably. The coughing had turned to choking, forcing tears to brim at her eyes. I eased her down to the ground, oblivious to what was happening. "Jezebel? Are you okay?" I'm not one to be concerned over anyone, but what was happening was completely out of the ordinary. Was she dying? Was she faking it? I didn't know what to do or think.

She was on her hands and knees, with every muscle tensing in her body. Her obscenely loud coughs had caught the attention of many guards, nurses and other patients. I flinched when she vomited as a result of her coughing fit. By this point, nurses and guards were desperately trying to help her. "What's happening? Is she okay? Jez- " My sentence was cut short when I heard a low growl coming from behind me, which grew increasingly louder with every second.

Before I had a chance to turn around fully, I was being wrenched up off the floor, by two burly, scaly arms. I groaned when Croc heaved me across the room and into a wall. When I hit the ground, I began laughing hysterically. It was my defence mechanism. For once, this was an undeserved treatment. I was actually being considerate over Jezebel's state and now big, old Croc assumes I'm the cause to all of this and comes to save the day. I propped myself up on my arm and wrapped my other arm around my ribs to ease the pain. I noticed Croc advancing towards me with large, heavy strides so as a natural reflex, I flinched. However – before he reached me – the dog like collar was forced around his neck once again and he was battled to the ground.

It seemed like déjà vu. This exact scene happened yesterday, except Jezebel was carried out of the room willingly and almost unconsciously. I honestly never meant to have that effect on her, but I knew I was right in thinking that none of this is actually my fault – so why did I feel so bad?

"What happened?" I asked as I sat down at the table with the familiar faces.

"Isn't it obvious?" Hush asked malevolently. "You just managed to send Jezebel into a coughing fit, possibly leading to her death. How do you feel?"

"Hush, how was he supposed to know?" The Riddler asked in my defence. "No-one is in the right position to point fingers here."

"Stop defending him! Let him speak for himself! Let him justify himself for what he's just done." Hush smiled at me mockingly and with his eyes narrowed.

Crane interrupted the argument next. "In all fairness, Joker is being the better man by not retaliating to your spitefulness. I suggest we stop all of this mocking immaturity and act like adults. But while we're still on the subject, let me clear up a few things for you, Joker. Jezebel suffers from a lung disease which we call, Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease or COPD for short. This leads to a limitation of air flow to and from the lungs causing shortness of breath. In contrast to asthma, the limitation of air flow is poorly reversible and usually gets progressively worse over time. That is all you need to know right now. Anything else is personal and only she should be the one to tell you."

I'd never felt this guilty in a long time and the fact that Hush continued to point fingers forced me to leave the table. I didn't have to deal with his shit. I decided to isolate myself from everyone else, once again, and resorted to the couch in front of the TV attached to the wall. It was on and the news channel was currently on the screen.

"_After the admittance of the cause to a vast number of deaths, including the hero Harvey Dent, Batman is still yet to be seen again. Has the vigilante finally given up his considered mantle? Or is it because The Joker is finally locked away in Arkham Asylum that the Batman chooses to hide away? With the scarcity of Batman's appearance, Gotham is once again beginning to see the build up of illegal activity. If Batman was to make a return – like many Gothamites are hoping for – will his breaking of his one rule be overlooked? Can Gotham really trust a masked vigilante responsible for so many deaths? Only_- "

The news reporter suddenly stopped talking when the TV shut off much to my displeasure. "Hey! I was watching that!" I yelled to no-one in particular. It had gone unnoticed.

"_Medication will be handed out shortly,_" a nurse stated over the tannoy.

I was really interested to where that report was going. Apparently, Batman had killed all of these people. No...no, he wouldn't do that. He wouldn't kill me, so what reason would he have to kill the more innocent than me. I didn't believe one bit of it. Why would he let me survive and – no, this is completely preposterous. Batman's hiding something. He must be covering for Harvey Dent. I'm 100% certain of that. I'd managed to turn the heroic white knight into something twisted and dark. He's the cause of all the deaths. Batman knows this and doesn't want Gotham's citizens to see me win. I'd won! Rightfully, I'd proved to everyone that there's evil in everyone. But Batman wasn't allowing this because he's a self-righteous bastard who's so proud of his scum infested city.

I couldn't rest now, knowing that he was getting away with this. Immediately I stood up from the sofa and made my way over to the nurse window. I tapped on the window with my knuckle and I was instantly met with the old, familiar nurse which I didn't like. "Hi," I greeted extending the word nasally. "I was just wondering if - "

"Medication will be given to you in five minutes, Mr Joker," she interrupted.

"Yeah, yeah, but I was wondering if you could turn that TV back on."

"I'm sorry. That isn't possible," she clarified without reason.

"What do you mean? Why?" I questioned angrily.

"Well you need to be considerate over other patient's wellbeing. A lot of the patients don't like the noise of the TV being on all of the time," she replied calmly with a smile. "Now, if you excuse Mr Joker, I have other errands to run." With that, she left the nurse's room and walked straight passed me with complete ignorance.

"But wait!" I hollered.

"Mr Joker, please don't make a nuisance of yourself."

I growled in my throat as I watched her walk away. She'd probably left to attend to either Jezebel or Croc, just like many other guards and nurses had. In fact, I couldn't even see a guard around at that moment. This was the perfect chance to do something about the TV. Without thinking about the consequences, I made way around to the nurse room door and attempted to open it. It was locked. I brought my fist up to the window in the door and slammed it through the glass. It shattered and tiny shards pierced my knuckles forming several red welts. I reached in and tried the knob from the inside. It opened easily with a click and I immediately took a step in, tearing the soles of my feet from all of the glass shards.

A young nurse happened to appear from the back room – holding a tray of pills – just as I closed the door. Seeing my appearance she let out a high pitched squeal and threw the tray in the air causing all the pills to sprinkle to the ground. "Get back," she warned with her eyes wide and her arms frozen beside her as she backed away from me.

"I just want to-"

"Get back," she repeated with more sternness.

"Just hold on a second, toots. Turn the TV back on and I'll be out of your hair. Which button do I press?" I asked as I searched the room. She didn't reply, but her shaky eye movements answered for me. They darted towards a button on the wall, so I automatically assumed it was the switch to turn on the TV. "Thanks, doll." My arm stretched out to reach the switch, but before I could reach it, the nurse grasped my wrist. "That was a mistake," I snarled as I gripped both of her wrists and pinned her against the wall. She began screaming and struggled to escape my grip.

"Help me!" She cried.

"Shh, shh, shh. Calm that pretty little head of yours. You know, you're the first person in this place who's actually been remotely scared of me – I like that. But why are you so nervous, hmm? It's the scars, isn't it? You wanna know how I got these scars?" Just as I was about to dig my teeth into another scar story, I heard the recreation room double doors burst open and saw two guards enter through the nurse room window. I released the nurse now that I had bigger problems on my hand.

I punched one of them in the face as they were about to turn the corner and then shoved the other to the ground. The one I had punched clasped my collar from behind, so as a reflex I brought my elbow up to his nose and heard a satisfying crack from the collision. As quickly as possible, I did a runner out of the recreation room before the guards could regain their composure. This was my chance to escape. Extremely risky, but any escape attempt is better than none. Immediately after sprinting out of the room, other guards began joining the pack of the first two guards. I dodged and jumped over any guards attempting to lunge at me all the while knocking nurses and doctors to the ground if they stood in the way.

Considering I had an unfair disadvantage of having shredded, bare feet I had gone a fair distance without being caught. I was almost out of the ward. I could see the end of the corridor with the elevator and stairs. I could practically smell the fresh air already. Maybe I'd let the thought of being free get to my head and amidst the almost blissful thought I didn't acknowledge a guards sneaky fist appearing from the hidden corner. I ran into his white knuckles and was instantly knocked out when the back of my head collided with the linoleum floor. Blackness.

Escape attempt 1# - FAILED.

.*.*.*.

**A/N: I haven't updated in a while. I'm sorry.**

**A lot of stuff happening in this one.**

**Jezebel's disease will become clearer in the next few chapters.**


	10. Lies Make Us Evil

**Chapter 10: Lies Make Us Evil**

"Uh, my head." I woke up in my cell, god knows how many hours later. My sight wasn't completely clear and my eyes were still half closed. Slowly, I reached my hand around to the back of my head and felt a very prominent bump that had formed when I had collided with the ground. Judging by the orangey lighting shining through the window, it was either early evening or I had managed to stay unconscious all night through and it was dawn.

I propped myself up on my arms and cracked my back with a groan.

"I was wondering when you were going to get up," I heard a female voice purr to the left of me. Startled, my head snapped in the direction of the voice. Far on the other side of the room sat the lovely Dr Clarkson, cross legged in a wooden chair.

"How long was I out?" I asked, slurring slightly.

"About four hours now," she replied with same almost alluring drawl.

"How long have you been sitting there?"

"What is this? Twenty questions? I've been sitting here ever since our session was supposed to start; two hours ago" she answered through gritting teeth. "I've been forced to cancel all my later sessions with other patients – just as important as you – so I can wait for you to wake up. All because of your ridiculous escape attempt. Do you have any idea how much trouble you caused today? Everything is unorganised and messed up now because of you. You haven't even been out of your straitjacket for a day and already you can't be trusted. Speaking of which, you've got three strikes for that straitjacket to stay off. Your first strike has been taken away from you."

As she continued my smile grew progressively larger. "Oh no, don't say I'm gonna be placed on the naughty step, doc," I mocked as I attempted to suppress the laughter.

"This isn't a laughing matter! You could have killed Jezebel Origliasso today!"

"I wasn't trying to kill her!" I shouted frustrated. I was sick of taking the blame for all of this! "Don't you think I'd admit it if I was trying to kill her! I was trying to help her if anything!"

"Hmm, that's what I was told by the nurses too. Until Croc had a hold of you. Karmic retribution if you ask me," she stated with deliberate spite and a smug grin plastered across her face. "But even if you were trying to help, that doesn't cloud the fact that you broke into the nurses room, scared the life out of one of the nurses and injured many of the Arkham guards. Not to mention that you've also injured yourself in the process. You've cut open your knuckles and the soles of your feet."

"Oh, so I have!" I chirped after glancing at the bandages around my right hand and all around both of my feet.

"Once again; karma."

"Karma for what?"

"For this, asshole!" She exclaimed as she raised her left hand. She flipped me the bird deliberately, as she modelled her new wrist splint and bandaged finger. "You broke my middle finger and sprained my wrist, that's what for!"

"Oh...Dr Clarkson...now that wasn't very professional at all, was it?" I questioned aiming to tease.

"That's because so far you've treated me like anything but a professional! You're so...hypocritical! It's unbelievable!"

"I'm guessing that's why you're, uh, sitting so far away from me too. You're scared of me now aren't you, hmm?" I asked. Audrey's silence spoke louder than words. "I suggest you slide your little butt over here, right now."

"Um, no. I'm comfortable here, thank you," she argued sheepishly as she tucked a stray hair behind her ear.

I rolled my eyes with a groan as I stood up from the bed. "You've gotta do everything yourself, don't we?" I growled as I walked over to her. As I dived for the chair legs, Audrey cowered and squealed. I gripped them tightly and began dragging the chair towards my bed, making the chair legs squeak. "There! Much better!" I exclaimed as I slapped her thighs.

"I think we're a little too close for comfort to be honest," she pointed out as she stared at where her knees were positioned in between my legs. Awkwardly she pushed herself back. When she was in a comfortable position, she looked up at me. "So, why did you do it? What forced you to hurt me like that? I've been trying to please you as much as possible and I've attended to your every whim and still you treat me as if I'm just a toy of yours."

I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. "Look, listen," I started as I clasped her right hand. She tried retracting, but I pulled it back. "No, no, no, no. Come here, come here. I'm not gonna hurt ya. I promise. And I'm a man of my word. I just want to tell you something. It's a story. I'm gonna tell you...a, uh, little story. Okay, so, once upon a time there's this woman picking up firewood. While she was doing this, she came across a poisonous snake frozen in the snow. She took it home and nursed it back to health. One day the snake bit her on the cheek. As she lay dying, she asks the snake, 'Why have you done this to me?' And the snake says, 'Look bitch, you knew I was a snake.'"

I laughed at the story and it even managed to crack a smile on her face. "Can you see the point I'm trying to get across here, hmm? Your naivety forced you to touch me, even though you knew how dangerous I can be. A tiger can smile. A snake will say it loves you. Lies make us evil."

"Yes, Mr Joker, but you're not a snake. You're human just like anyone else and shouldn't have to be treated like you're a poisonous beast! You should be treated like a normal human being, so what makes you so special to be treated differently, huh?"

"You're not getting this are you? I'm not saying I'm a snake! I'm saying I'm dangerous! I'm still human, but I'm dangerous! What don't you get about that?" I barked. This woman was insistent on thinking there's some good in me and I'd even tried interpreting my position through story and she still couldn't grasp it.

"Don't try and patronise me," she spat viciously as she wrenched her hand away. "That's all you do and I've had enough of it. You're completely pitiless and such a self-centred narcissist."

"It doesn't take a genius to figure that out. Well done, doc," I applauded derisively as I clapped my hands loudly.

With a whine she placed her head into her hands and for a second I contemplated if she was crying. "Oh my god, Joker...You will be the death of me," she moaned into her palms. I patted her back soothingly.

"There, there. I've told you before; your death shall be quick and painless." I heard a laugh snort from her, but that was her only response. Her head still rested in the heel of her hands and she was deathly silent. If this was her way of having a mental breakdown, then it was extremely uncomfortable on my part. I didn't know how to react. I seriously thought she had completely lost it.

All of a sudden her head popped up abruptly, making me flinch. Her hair was a shaken mess and her eyes looked weary and almost lifeless. "Did you know that psychiatrists have the highest suicide rate?" She blurted out quickly.

"Um...anyway!" I averted away from going down that road. Her new persona was scarily different. I didn't like it. Not one bit. I gently grasped both of her hands in mine.

"NO!" She roared and aggressively pulled her hands back. "Don't! Don't. Touch. Me. Stop it! Stop grabbing my hands."

"Look...Audrey...you really need to calm down," I drawled as I placed my hands flat on her thighs which were twitching and rubbing against each other violently. She glared down at my hands with clenched teeth. "I don't know what's happened to you all of sudden, but, uh, snap out of it. You're starting to sound as if you belong in one of these cells in Arkham. And it's not easy for me to say this, but – I think you're crazy. But then again, who am I to judge?" I asked as I chuckled.

Audrey's eyes widened and her angry expression softened. "Oh my god," she breathed as she ran a hand through her hair. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I don't know what happened! I don't know what just came over me. How embarrassing. I'm sorry, I truly am," she apologised after realising how she had been acting. She cleared her throat and crossed her legs, snapping back to her old self. "So, what were you doing talking to Jezebel today anyway?" She asked, changing the subject.

I shrugged my shoulders in reply. "I don't know. She'd talked to me before and I didn't see why I shouldn't talk to her again. I was aiming to torment her a little, but I had no idea about her, uh, disease."

"Oh, so you've been told now. Jezebel's disease is quite tragic and upsetting to say the least. Has she told you anything else?"

"She hasn't told me anything actually."

"Well, I think she should be the one to tell you anything else."

"Why does everyone keep saying that?" I questioned. "Every time I've tried having a decent conversation with her something pops up."

"I'm sorry. So why did you break into the nurses room? Was it related to Jezebel at all?" Audrey asked.

"No, I wanted the TV back on because...BATMAN!" I bellowed suddenly remembering about the news report on the TV.

"Excuse me?"

"Okay, I want you tell me what you know about Batman's 'disappearance'," I ordered using quotation marks with my fingers.

"Um...okay. He confessed to killing many people including Harvey Dent and he hasn't been seen since."

"No, no, no. This is all wrong! I can't believe he's getting away with this," I growled furiously. Audrey's confused expression was enough to urge me to elucidate further. "Batman's taking the rap for Harvey for some reason. Probably self-righteousness. Being the noble Batman he doesn't want Gotham to know how his White Knight wasn't such a decent person after all. But now that wonderful Harvey is dead and Batman is supposedly a murderous fiend, he's left Gotham with nothing to believe in which is the opposite of what he was aiming for. He was hoping to show Gotham that not everyone is evil, but now there's nothing left. You see, Batman isn't very clever when you think about it. I am. I sussed out his little trick in a second. And I assure you as soon as I get out of here, I'm showing that to all of Gotham. The truth will be revealed!" I roared and I stood up quickly. Audrey noticeably flinched and whimpered scared at my sudden outburst. "Oh, will you stop cowering, hmm? You're acting like an abused housewife! I've got bigger problems now, asides from you." I began pacing the room for a sense of stress release.

"What makes you think people are going to believe you? I sure don't."

The growl started from a low rumble in my chest to a furious roar. "Why don't you believe me, huh? It's much more plausible than Batman's story! You see, that's the problem, people only hear what they want hear. They don't want to hear both sides of the story as long as the first side sounds good."

"Still don't believe you."

"Why? Why? Why?" I repeated over and over as I rested my back against the wall. With each repeated word, I'd bang the back of my head against it. "Why? Why? Why?"

"Please, stop doing that. Stop it! You're going to hurt yourself!" She warned as she stood up from her chair. I continued despite her protests. She began walking over to me, but stopped mid journey when I came to a sudden stop. All of a sudden I felt woozy and dizzy. I had completely forgotten all about my previous collision with the back of my head. "Mr Joker? Mr Joker, are you okay?" Audrey questioned. My eyesight became blurry and my head became light. I fainted back against the wall and slid to the ground. I tried my best to stay conscious, but my eyes wouldn't allow it. "Oh my god. Please someone help!" I heard Audrey cry before I completely blacked out. "Clown down!"

"What?" An orderly asked after entering the cell.

"The clown is down!"

**.*.*.*.**

**A/N: W00t w00t! Double digits!**

**The chapter title 'Lies Make Us Evil' is from a Haiku poem written in **_**Fight Club**_**, the book. The whole Haiku is mentioned in this chapter too. A tiger can smile. A snake will say it loves you. Lies make us evil.**

**Once again, I'm sorry for lack of Jezebel. She'll be in the next one. Wendy hasn't been in it for a while either. I'm pretty sure all three women are in the next chapter at some point.**

**The story Joker told was from a film called, **_**Natural Born Killers**_**. The meaning behind it related closely to Joker and Audrey's relationship.**

**The psychiatrist suicide statistic is apparently true. I'm not 100% sure of the reasons, but I read it somewhere. I can only assume it's because of their patients that urge the suicide.**

**I'm sorry for slow updates. I've been focusing more on my video editing more than anything. Speaking of which, take a look at some of my videos on Youtube if you want. SlashGashJokerWhore. But considering I don't want to seem like it's just self-promotion, take a look at a Joker Fan Film on YT too. It's called Tell Gordon Hello and if you haven't already seen it...it's really my highest recommendation. The acting is phenomenal and The Joker impression is spot on. Seriously, you won't regret it. GO WATCH IT! **


	11. Girl With The Broken Smile

**Chapter 11: Girl With The Broken Smile**

I woke bright and early the next morning. This time, however, I was in an unfamiliar environment. I was in a larger room, but with equal whiteness. More beds were placed along the walls with only a few people lying in them. There was a distinct smell of disinfectant and antiseptic substances, yet there was still a horrid stale smell basking underneath. I could hear heart monitors beeping with a steady cadence and the sounds of the nurses' shoes scuffing the linoleum floor every now and again.

I felt the back of my head for the second time and felt the fabric of a bandage wrapped tightly around my head. That's a bit extreme for a contusion so minor.

The curtain to the left of me suddenly opened and I expected to see a nurse, but instead I saw Jezebel reaching over from her bed, still gripping the plastic curtain. All the vitality looked as if it had been knocked out of her. Now, she looked frail and vulnerable as if she'd break if anyone touched her. Her appearance resembled that of a neglected porcelain doll. Dark circles had formed under her eyes in contrast to her sickeningly pale skin and her hair was an unkempt mess. The dark circles and the pale skin reminded me of a skeleton.

"Hi there," she chirped gleefully once recognising my appearance. "What are you doing here? I saw you get carried in last night by some Arkham guards. Have you been getting into fights again?"

"Uh, no. I knocked myself out actually. Long story short, I banged the back of my head against the wall. Hey – uh, I wanted to, ah, apologise for what I...did yesterday. And it's not easy for me to say this, but – I'm, ah...sorry." I gagged at the apology as I choked on my own words. Maybe the apology wouldn't have been as hard to convey if it was for something I'd actually done. The fact that it wasn't, made it ten times harder.

I saw Jezebel smile softly at me, but she wasn't smiling at my discomfort in the apology; she was smiling merely at the fact that I had apologised. "That's okay. It wasn't your fault; you didn't know. I've had way more worse attacks other than that anyway – did the guys...tell you anything?" She asked sheepishly. Her tone implicated that she wasn't comfortable with talking about her problem.

"All I know is that you have a disease. They didn't tell me anything else."

"Ah, I see. Well, I suppose I might tell you a little bit about myself just to pass the time instead of wallowing in an awkward silence." She positioned herself cross legged Indian style on her bed and faced me. She cleared her throat readying herself for her story. I wasn't sure if the cough was just to begin speaking or if it was because of her disease. I was just thankful she didn't break out into a coughing fit again. "As a child I had to do a lot of travelling and I spent my life moving from place to place. My parents were missionaries so they were always sent to different parts of the world to carry on ministries of the world.

"We'd settled down for a long period of time in Timmins; somewhere in Canada. And as cheesy as it sounds, I actually found a boy there who I fell head over heels with. I was only 15 and I thought I knew what love was. Both of us became just as possessive as each other over one another and even though we were drastically underage, we – I mean, I came to the conclusion that we should get married." I could tell Jezebel was finding it hard explaining her story for two reasons. One; it was embarrassing. And two; she seemed sad. For what reason she had to be sad was beyond me. Maybe she still had feelings for this boy.

"I was rejected by him. Not long after being rejected, I was told I was going to be moving away again. That's when I came here; Gotham. I was absolutely heartbroken. The pressure of moving away and the pressure of leaving the one I loved became too much for me. I was naive and a stupid little girl and I attempted suicide. Probably the worst possible way too – asphyxiation. I tried jumping off of Gotham Bridge and I attempted to drown myself. I remember, it was winter at the time and I almost passed out straight away from the icy water. But before I completely passed out, someone saved me. I don't know who it was. He felt strong and all I remember was that he was a dark figure...almost like a silhouette.

"I was taken to GCPD and then I was taken home. For months I was nagged and nagged about my suicide and they told me to never try it again. I obeyed happily, not wanting to go through that pain again. But for some reason, my parents just couldn't grasp this. I became a recluse in my room and they became scared of me and for me. They left me alone all the time and whenever they were around me...I felt like I was being – smothered. I reckon it's because of my parent's parental skills that egged on my bi-polar disorder, unfortunately. After lack of contact with my parents they became sceptic of me. When I 'apparently' tried to push my mother down the stairs, they sent me to Arkham. It's a bit extreme considering it's for the criminally insane. Maybe I did push my mom...a little. But people don't understand me when I say that it was just a friendly nudge, if anything.

"I was forced in here at the age of 15 and I've been here for two years," she finished glumly, yet still had her trademark smile on her face.

I did the calculations in my head and figured out her age. "Seventeen?" I mouthed silently to her in shock. She nodded her head in reply. "You're so young! Wh- I mean...What are you thinking? You need to get out of here!"

"There's no point. I feel safe here. I could leave if I wanted to. After the first year, I was only here voluntarily. It wasn't until I came to Arkham where they discovered that I had COPD. The icy water and the lack of breathing was probably the cause of it. Here, the medical facility thinks I have the worst kind; stage 4. When first diagnosed with this disease, it's unlikely you'll survive two years with it when diagnosed with the most severe stage." She explained it so calmly that it was hard to believe this girl was dying. The broken smile was still playing at her lips and I knew now it was a completely faux one. She was just trying to cover up and forget what was truly happening. The girl with the broken smile was dying and she just didn't care. "I mean, it's fine. Everybody's gotta go sometime, right?"

"But, rightfully, you still have your whole life ahead of you and you've spent the last two years of your life in this building! You need to get out. As soon as I escape from here, I'm taking you with me. I don't care what you have to say." Jezebel's death was inevitable but also very unpredictable at the same time, which is completely contrasting. She knew the death was coming, supposedly soon, but exactly when she wasn't quite sure. I've never liked surprises.

"No. If I get out of here, I'll only return to the manic state of depression I had before I came here. When I came here all my problems disappeared. Except I think I've become crazier since my residence here. The monotonous day to day routine, along with the dull white walls and the consistent drone of the orderlies' voices can just make you...crack! You know what I mean," she chuckled.

"That's what I'm afraid of. I'm afraid that if I stay here any longer, I might go crazy."

She laughed, but I saw no joke. "You're so funny. Don't you see? We're all here because we're not all there. So, clown boy, what's your story?"

"I tried destroying Gotham. I mean, I did destroy Gotham. I made the Bat break his one rule and I ended up here because of it."

There was silence before Jezebel erupted into fits of giggles. "No, seriously, what happened?"

"I'm telling the truth. If you knew what was going on outside of these walls, you'd believe me. It's a funny world we live in, Jezebel. In some ways, you're lucky to have never have known how corrupt precious Gotham is." She giggled again but this time, coughing followed. Almost immediately after, a nurse was by her side, holding what looked like an inhaler. She also closed the curtain in my face. How charming. I sighed and rolled onto my back.

Call it coincidence, but not long after Jezebel was taken away from me, Audrey appeared with her heals clicking against the linoleum. "Hello, beautiful," I purred.

"Good morning," she said with a smile.

"Come to check up on your favourite patient, have you, hmm?" I asked pompously as I tucked my arms underneath my head with a smug grin on my face.

"Don't let the ego get to your head. I'll only end up bruising it. By the way how is your head?" She asked as she started unfastening the bandage gently with her still sprained wrist.

"Not that bad. So does that mean I am your favourite patient?"

"I don't have a favourite patient. That's like asking which of your children is your favourite. But admittedly, you are by far the most interesting patient I've ever had the honour of treating. I'm actually thankful that I took on your case. I was sceptic at first, but you do have some interesting things to say," she confessed. After a moments silence, her hand reached to the back of my head. She sat my body up for a second to run her fingers along the bump where the skin had now broken and blood had poured out, dying the back of the white bandage red. She fluffed by pillow before pushing be back down softly. Her fingertips smoothly brushed greasy strands of hair out of my face and I simply stared at her with my eyebrows lowering considerably more with each second.

"You don't have to mollycoddle me. You're not a nurse. That's a nurse's job."

"Well, I just want to make sure that everything's fine for my darling little clown."

I sighed heavily. "What do you want? Are you trying to get something out of me? Why are you being so nice to me?" I questioned, getting the feeling she was trying to butter me up deliberately. A coy smile tugged at the corners of her lips. Timidly she reached into her coat pocket and pulled out three little pills. She modelled them on the centre of her open palm and heaved them towards me. I rolled my eyes at the sight of them.

"Look, I know you haven't been taking them and that you don't want to take them, but please, just take them for me. I'll give you anything you want."

"Nuh-uh," I shook my head in protest and tilted my head to the right away from her.

"Please? It's for your own benefit, remember?" She thrust the first pill towards my face and placed it near my lips. My lips quickly formed a thin line, so the pill couldn't get through. I mumbled and grumbled in protest as my head shook from side to side to get away from the dreaded pill. "Stop being such a baby and take your meds!" She exclaimed as her left leg propped up onto the edge of the bed so she could reach closer to my mouth. Losing patience, she gripped my jaw with her index finger and her thumb, forcing my face to stay in place. She was blatantly taking things a step too far now. She wrestled me continuously and it attracted the attention of a lot of patients and nurses. "You're causing a scene!"

Viciously I snapped and trapped her finger in between my teeth. I bit down hard and she squealed in agony for a second until I let her escape. Immediate tears threatened to fall as she clutched her now bleeding finger. Immaturely I spat the pill out of my mouth at her, spit spraying in the process. I glared at her under hooded eyes with my teeth baring and gritting. "Don't...fucking...touch me," I growled lowly. Out loud, I hardly cursed. I see myself as a higher class of person to use vocabulary like that...or sentence enhancers. But this obviously deluded woman had pushed all my buttons and had no-one else to blame for my abrupt actions. "Stop trying to be my little friend...the lovely person who I can trust. It's not...going...to work-uh. Fuck off away from me with your kind and fucking innocent ways. And don't give me those puppy dog eyes as if you weren't expecting anything from me. You feign that I'm your lover or something and you're the abused partner. I am not your husband! And don't think for a second I'm going to return all this kindness and love. Because news flash princess; I'd take you to the top of this building, just to push you off and then run down the stairs just to see your face as you hit the street. So do yourself a favour and get on with your fucking life without me in it."

She didn't look upset. I'd have expected her to be blubbering now, but instead she looked positively furious. Her eyes were narrowed and her upper lip was twitching into a grimace. Every now and then her nostrils would flare as if she was somehow venting her annoyance through her nose. Violently she threw the pills down at my face and muttered through clenched teeth, "I can't fucking win with you can I?"

I growled angrily in my chest as I watched her waddle away furiously. "That's mouth isn't very fucking ladylike or professional! – Stupid bitch," I muttered the last part, considering she was probably already out of earshot. I picked the pills off my body and threw them to the ground.

With a sigh I pulled the curtain beside me to see if Jezebel was still there. She wasn't. Instead a nurse was busy making the bed she had been lying in. Her head slowly turned around to look at me. "Can I help you?" She snapped.

"Uh, no," I mumbled and closed the curtain again. I closed my eyes tightly and imagined myself being somewhere else right now. I breathed heavily through my nose to rid myself of all this pent up stress.

"What was all that about?" I heard another female voice ask to the right of me. I opened one eye slowly and saw Wendy standing there, with one eyebrow raised higher than the other in confusion.

I assumed she was talking about the incident with Audrey. "She's just my shrink, that's all," I explained briefly as I rubbed invisible sleep away from my eyes.

"Who? Dr Clarkson is your shrink?" She questioned with a smirk pulling on her lips. I heard a laugh snort emit from her. "She's so pathetic." I know I'd just been through a little spat with this doctor, but I still couldn't understand why Audrey and Wendy truly despised each other.

"I don't know...she can be alright sometimes. But others I just want to...kill her," I hissed as I pretended to strangle Audrey with my hands. In reality, I was just strangling air.

"Well, she's gone now. You have me to talk to instead. You can always trust me. I mean, what would I have to do with any information you give me? I'm just a...little ol' nurse," she sang as she smiled cheerfully. She gripped the plastic curtain and pulled the whole thing around the bed, so that the bed I was staying in was secluded from everything else.

"What are you doing? I don't really feel like being raped by you at the moment," I stated bluntly, figuring that's exactly the kind of thing she'd have in mind. I'm not sure if she was actually scheming for something from me or if she really was just a nymphomaniac. Either way, she was seriously disturbed in the head.

She chuckled to herself throatily. "What's it gonna take for you to loosen up with me, huh?" Her voice was deliberately quiet as she didn't want anyone else to know about her somewhat of an infatuation with me.

"Well, toots, everybody wants something for nothing."

"I _don't_ want something for nothing," she snapped harshly in my ear before grabbing my crotch. I gasped loudly – in pain at first, until she loosened her grip and began rubbing her hand against the fabric. "I can give you anything you want. Whether it is sexual, any information you may require, something materialistic...I can get it for you. You name it and I'll get it. But I want you to trust me. Tell me...little things that no-one else knows."

"You have...nothing to give me...that I already can't do myself," I uttered through moans and growls. I closed my eyes attempting to distract myself from the undeniable, pleasurable sensation below. Her rubbing became more frantic as she leaned in closer towards my ear and my eyes rolled into the back of my head whilst clenching my teeth.

"I can get you out of here," she whispered calmly into my ear before flicking the shell of it quickly with her tongue. I felt her smile against my skin when she realised my sudden silence. "What's the matter, J? Cat got your tongue?"

"Swear to me?" I growled in her ear brutishly.

"I wouldn't lie about that. I know you wouldn't take nicely to being lied to anyway, would you J?" Her frantic pace slowed down slightly when she leaned away, but the pressure had become harder. I clenched the sheets tightly and started grinding against her hand desperately trying to find my climax. I was close. "I won't be able to get you out straight away, quite obviously. Things like this take time. All the right moves...all the right places," she drawled being deliberate with her choice of words. "By the way, how's your head?"

_Hard just like the rest of my penis._ Was that a dick joke? Bad joke nevertheless.

I didn't get a chance to reply before I let out a feral cry when I'd finally cum. My mouth hung open slightly, emitting quiet groans as my body jolted faintly from pleasure. I wasn't sure if my exclamation had attracted the curious attention of anyone in the ward with me, but I was too consumed by the satisfying feel to care. I don't even want to think about the potential mess I'd just made underneath the fabric of my scrubs.

"Now then," Wendy began as she straightened out her nurse uniform. "I must get going. But maybe another encounter like this won't go a miss, eh?" She asked mockingly as she winked and began walking off after opening the curtain. Thankfully, there weren't a lot of people staring at me. Only a few nurses nearby were sending me questionable glares.

What an interesting day this has turned out to be.

*.*.*.*

**A/N: Chapter title is taken from a song called **_**She Will Be Loved**_** by Maroon 5. Now that Jezebel's background story is revealed, it kind of has some relevance to her.**

"**We're all here because we're not all there" is a quote from a song, I think. It might be an Aerosmith song, but I can't remember what it's called.**

**I don't imagine The Joker swearing a lot for some reason. Thought I'd mention it in the story. I reckon he's more...higher class than that? I don't know. He doesn't need swears to prove his point. He does well without them. Besides, the worst thing The Joker said in The Dark Knight was, balls, so there's no point in changing his vocabulary.**

"**Sentence enhancers" was a term that was used on Spongebob when Spongebob and Patrick discover a naughty word. I think the episode's called, Sailor Mouth.**

"**I'd take you to the top of this building, just to push you off and then run down the stairs just to see your face as you hit the street" is taken from the song You're Cute When You Scream by Senses Fail off the album Let It Unfold You, again. I've already mentioned the song before in a previous chapter.**

**I apologise if anyone was offended by the sexual scene with Wendy. Seldom do I ever write sexcapades in my stories, but I think the next chapter will also involve a sexual scene. Just a heads up. I try my best to not make it sound like plain smut, but there's nothing wrong with a little smuttiness going on.**


	12. Blue Balls

**Chapter 12: Blue Balls**

Last night I dreamt I was humping Wendy Miller. Complete animalistic, lust driven sex. Obviously, from the extremely pleasant dream, I woke up feeling rejuvenated and contented. But I was suddenly struck with confusion when I realised I had woken up in my cell bed and not the medical facility's bed. I was almost 100% certain that I didn't move beds through the middle of the night. Once again, I blame insomnia. With insomnia nothing is ever real. Everything's just a copy of a copy of a copy.

The more I thought about the idea of Wendy riding my dick on this very Arkham bed, the more I contemplated whether it was real. Was it real? I don't know. It was all very confusing. I remember it being very dark at the time and quiet, so it must have been late at night. That way, it'd make it easier for Wendy to sneak into my cell without getting caught by any Arkham guards, considering each floor of Arkham is lacking of any after eight o'clock.

Even though the place was virtually empty, Wendy still kept quiet. However, the aching creak of the bed and her wanton noises were pretty much unavoidable. Her moans started out quiet until she neared her orgasm and they turned into high pitched cries and pleasurable gasps. Likewise with the bed. The once quiet squeak of the bed transformed into something far louder combined with the metal bars in the form of a headboard banging against the wall. It's a wonder how the noises didn't attract any attention. Maybe last night wasn't a dream. It was so clear to me now that I'd thought about it thoroughly. Wendy was in a rush in fear of getting caught so she left her nurse uniform on and wasted no time on jumping on top of me and straddling my hips. But then again, Wendy seemed desperate. Maybe it was desperation that caused her eagerness and not the fear of getting caught.

It's just unfortunate that I was probably half asleep when she was fucking me. I could have been more enthusiastic if I was more aware, thus enjoying it more.

I jumped when I was suddenly torn away from my thoughts by a heavy metallic bang sounding from outside the cell. "Time to get cleaned up, clown," an Arkham guard informed after opening the cell door. I rolled my eyes knowing just who I was going to expect. Wendy was going to be there looking as smug as ever knowing very well that she'd gotten into the pants of Gotham's Most Wanted. I can honestly say I wasn't happy one bit about fucking her. I hadn't wanted to. The thought had never crossed my mind. I can assure you; it had for her multiple times, no doubt.

Sure enough, Wendy was standing outside of my cell, but seemed too hard to read. She had the same smile on her face like always and I couldn't figure out whether or not the sex last night had fazed her at all. I figured as soon as we were alone in the shower room, she'd bring it up. There was an awkward silence between us once we were alone, however. I wasted no time with getting into the shower this time, instead of fussing over the idea of being naked in front of her.

"You seem tense, J. Something troubling you?" Wendy asked finally, yet she still seemed oblivious somehow.

"What...happened last night?"

"What do you mean? Nothing happened last night," Wendy replied bewildered.

Now came to the hard part. If I was to ask if we had sex last night and it actually wasn't true, I'd have to put up with the embarrassment of being ridiculed. But on the other hand, if I don't ask at all, I'll never know if what happened last night was for real. Normally, I'm much too proud to even care about these minor things, but this one predicament had me puzzled. "Did you fuck me last night?"

Wendy bent forward and howled and whooped in laughter at the question. The laughter implied that we hadn't had sex and was about to lead into tremendous ridiculing. "Look, I can honestly say I hold no interest in hearing about any of your wet dreams. Don't you think you're a little old to still be having them? But then again, you are locked up in here...with no female companion. It must get pretty lonely."

Angrily I switched the water off and was about to storm over to her, until I realised that being completely naked makes it hard to look intimidating. "Get over here," I growled in my most malicious tone of voice. I'd let Wendy walk all over me long enough for this tone to not affect her. Nevertheless, she obeyed my orders and pattered over to me. She stood by my side and stared up at me with a deliberately aroused look in her eyes. "Look me in the eyes and tell me, we did not have sex last night."

"We did not have sex last night."

"You liar!" I snarled. I could tell she was lying. Her voice had raised an octave and she had the wide eyed look, feigning innocence. "Why'd you do it?"

She sighed and walked away from me and reached for a towel. I followed her, no longer caring about being naked. "I figured you might need some company. Besides, it's the least you can do for me for helping you get out of here."

"Oh! So it's for your own selfish needs! It's not about me, it's you. You're a crazy nymphomaniac, you know that, hmm? Being the, ah, nice guy I am – I've never brought it up before. But I think it's about time you knew."

"Shut up, you seemed to enjoy it last night."

"I was half asleep! It's borderline rape! And right now, I don't feel like talking to you. In fact, you aren't an interest to me at all. So, I think its best you stay away from me before things start to get...ah, messy. Just get me out of here, like you promised and then you can leave me alone."

"Hey, I didn't promise anything," she teased cruelly.

"That's not fair, you little bitch," I growled furiously as I gripped the lapel of her nurse uniform. I yanked her towards me and glaring down at her with my teeth grinding noticeably.

"Look!" She exclaimed as she pushed me away and escaped my grip. "_You _may not be happy to see me, but _Mr J_ certainly is," she stated as she pointed downwards. My eyes followed in the direction she was pointing. Great. I was undeniably erect. How embarrassing. "Let's stop arguing. I don't know why you're being so spiteful with me today. You really enjoyed last night," she whispered as she placed her finger tips on my lower abdomen. I was in a stunned silence when she made a tickling trail all the way down to the base of my cock. Gently, she gripped the whole thing and made no movements. "You're still yet to tell me anything about yourself. You told me you were going to tell me little things. What am I gonna have to do to make you open up, huh?" She questioned before sliding her hand along my shaft.

A choked gasp escaped my lips when she tightened her grip. Any attempts to pull away now would be useless. "Ah, god – why are you doing this?" I asked through grunts and sighs. Wendy lowered herself to the ground so that she was kneeling on the cold tiles.

"What's wrong, J? You not enjoying it, hmm? You seemed to be enjoying it yesterday, huh! You bruised my hips, you fucker!" She exclaimed annoyed as her pumping became more frantic and harder. My breathing became uneven a shaky as she continued and I tried to figure out what to do with my hands. I resorted to placing them on her shoulders. Wendy stopped suddenly and I assumed she must have seen this gesture as hint to something else when she brought her lips closer to the tip of my dick. I groaned a little higher pitched than I expected when she quickly flicked the head with her tongue. She giggled quietly when I jolted at the sensation.

Her tongue made careful circles around the head and they were almost so slow they were painful. One of my hands slid up her neck and into her hair. Gently I began pushing her head closer towards me. She looked up at me quickly before getting the idea. She ran her tongue along the underside of my cock a few times before wrapping her lips around the whole thing. Her head began bobbing slowly and softly as I pushed strands of hair away from her face, my mouth hanging open slightly. With each retraction the more she'd take in. Her right hand was still gripping the lower part of my dick and rubbing gently as she sucked nearer the top.

It wasn't until she began moaning when I noticed she had her hand up her uniform, rubbing profusely at her clit. The vibrations off her moaning became unbearable. "Ah, harder!" I growled as I gripped the back of her head with both hands. Her cheeks hollowed to apply more suction as she bobbed her head up and down more quickly with a little help from me thrusting into her and tugging at her hair. I couldn't force myself any further into her mouth now as I could already feel Wendy gagging as her eyes rolled into the back of her head.

Her moans became louder and more frequent when she pressed two fingers deeply into her vagina. She pulled my cock out quickly before ordering hurriedly, "Don't cum until I tell you to." Straight after I began thrusting harder into her mouth. I hissed at the teasing sensation at the tender flesh and tossed my head back with a husky groan. Wendy's eyes were wide open as she lustfully gleamed up at me enjoying every minute of watching me being overtaken by pure animalistic want.

"Uh, I need to cum," I groaned uncomfortably as I clenched my eyes shut.

"Wait a second," Wendy sighed exhaustedly as she rubbed harder at her clit now. Her other hand was now rubbing up and down my shaft tightly and I knew I wouldn't last much longer. I knew Wendy had had her orgasm when she began shaking uncontrollably and erratically whilst breathing out high pitched gasps.

Just as she placed her lips around my cock again, there was a knock at the shower room door. "Wendy?"

"Mhmm?" She called back with my girth still inside her mouth.

"Is everything okay in there?"

"Yeah, he'll be out soon!" She replied after pulling away from me. With that said and done, she stood up from her position on the floor and readjusted her panties and uniform.

I simply glared at her furiously. "You didn't let me cum!" I shouted without thinking.

"Shh! Do you want him to hear, huh? There's no time now, just get dressed and leave."

"This is exactly how blue balls happen," I argued. "Do you know how painful that is for a guy? Obviously you don't, seeing as you don't have a penis or testicles. Now get back down and finish what you started!"

She began laughing at me. The bitch actually started laughing at me. "Ha, men...so easily manipulated by something as simple as sex. You men think you're so superior, but every man has one weakness. This – is the perfect example." I growled angrily and began using my own hand to help me cum, until Wendy grabbed my arm and pulled it away. "No, no, no. You need to get dressed now. You wouldn't want little Miss Clarkson worrying about why you aren't in her session now, would we?"

Now absolutely exasperated I tore the clothes away from her and pulled them on quickly. My hands were damaged and rough from the injuries previously anyway. Nonetheless, I swore down, I'd get my revenge on Wendy somehow. That was a bad joke and I know all about bad jokes.

Without another word spat between us, I stormed out having to endure the excruciating pain in my lower abdomen and my balls.

*.*.*.*

**A/N: I warned you about the smut in the previous chapter. Once again, I apologise if it offended anyone. I don't mean to offend. What can I say? Wendy's obviously a manipulative slut. I don't know, maybe I made a lot of girls happy. Maybe even vice versa. Depends which way you look at it.**

**Blue Balls is something that happens to a guy. It's a painful condition when a man has been profoundly sexually stimulated but not allowed to ejaculate, leaving his balls feeling heavy and sore. Hence the chapter title.**

"**With insomnia, nothing is ever real. Everything's just a copy of a copy of a copy," is a quote from Fight Club once again.**

**Again, I'd like to thank all the reviewers. They make me happy. Everyone who has left a review will have a shout-out at the end of this story, just because I think you deserve to be mentioned. Champagne! Champagne! Champagne for everyone! Or free cookies, which ever you prefer. **


	13. Sexual Frustration

**Chapter 13: Sexual Frustration **

I was led to Audrey's office which took longer than usual, thanks to my deliberate dawdling. Once I got there, I had trouble trying to sit down comfortably. Audrey's expression was almost comical as she stared bewildered at my attempts to sit. Once I sat down and was comfortable I sighed in relief. Audrey's mouth was gaped open slightly. "Um...are you okay?" She asked finally. I nodded with a faux smile not wanting to admit to her what was happening. No doubt, she'd laugh at my discomfort after the way I had treated her. "Good. I'd like to begin by apologising for what I did yesterday. It was really immature and unprofessional of me to swear at you like that."

"If you swear again, I might just cut that little tongue of yours off. That wasn't ladylike. You're more professional than that Audrey. You should be ashamed!"

"-Thanks for not rubbing it in my face," she noted sarcastically. "I'm sorry for beating around the bush, but I'm curious – am I the only woman you treat like this, or do you get your kicks from tormenting females all the time? Why do you have to treat me so...horribly?"

"Oh, you think you're special?" I asked with a chuckle. "What if I told you I do it because I love you – would you believe me?"

One of Audrey's eyebrows raised in confusion. "Is that a serious question? Is this a test?" I merely shrugged my shoulders in reply. "Joker, I hardly believe a word that comes out of your mouth. I say this without aiming to hurt you, but I really can't imagine you caring for anything other than yourself. You definitely don't love me. You're only saying this to mess with my mind as if you don't already."

"But I do love you," I repeated with a lopsided grin.

"You don't love me – you love the idea of me."

"No, I love _you_."

"Well, I'm very flattered, but -"

"I'm not aiming to flatter! I'm aiming to show my true feelings towards you. I want you, I need you." Audrey stared at me looking more perplexed than ever. My sudden confession of love towards her had made her resort to a stunned silence. Half of her was still shocked while the other contemplated whether or not I was being serious. During my confession, I didn't really know what I was aiming to do. I am a guy without a plan. More than anything, I wanted to see Audrey's response. I had noted the way she acted around me. Underneath all of that eagerness to cure me, I'm almost positive that she held a soft spot for me; but I'm still unsure if it was just how she treated all her patients. She did mention that she cared deeply for her job and all of her patients. "Audrey? I'm waiting for your response."

"I'm sorry, Mr Joker. There isn't anything for me to say to that. There are strict rules regarding the relationship between a patient and its doctor, which could cost me my job. And no offence, but you're hardly the guy who could be capable of keeping a steady relationship. And you seem to be forgetting one very important factor; I'm married. Do you think I'd leave my husband for you?" She asked harshly.

"Hey, now that hurts. That was below the belt," I joked with false hurt. "How are things with your husband anyway? You never seem to mention him. You don't even have any pictures of him or anything that's sentimental worthy in this office. Has your marriage reached a bumpy road, hmm? Tell me what happened."

"Stop trying to fix something that isn't broken. Why do you assume that I and my husband aren't happy together?"

"Why do you assume that I assume this? To assume is to make an ass out of you and me," I chuckled at my own joke. My attempt to brighten the situation clearly failed when Audrey wasn't even tempted to smile. I had clearly annoyed her with the questions about her husband. The more she fussed over the idea of the questions aimed at her husband the more it seemed that she was hiding something about him.

"Look, I'm putting my foot down. I've let you intrude in my life for long enough. You know way too much about me and as a psychiatrist I shouldn't let you know so many personal things. I shouldn't have told you anything personal at all, in fact. A patient can get stuck in your head that way."

"Have you been thinking about me, doc? When you're at home, do I ever cross your mind? When you're, uh, alone?" I questioned huskily with deliberate slowness.

I saw Audrey swallow deeply as she fidgeted in her office chair uncomfortably. "You're probably going to make some sick innuendo joke with this, but yes. You're always on my mind. It's unhealthy, but I assure you, I never think of you in the way you're suggesting I am. I never think up any erotic scenarios of you having sex with me in obscene positions."

"There you go again with your silly assumptions. I almost sure now that sexual thoughts have passed your mind involving me. Such sinful thoughts whilst your husband is in bed right beside you," I teased before licking my lips lengthily.

"You know, I'm beginning to think that you're just sexually frustrated. I think I may have just made an amazing discovery. The cause to all of your problems is sexual frustration. I can't believe no-one's suggested this before. What's wrong, Joker? Having problems getting it up? Are you being deprived of any female intimacy – or male intimacy?" She questioned sardonically.

I rolled my eyes at her attempts to taunt me. She should know by now that I could do it back ten times worse. She may have a husband, but she seems far too in depth with her job to be interested in sex. I doubt her husband got a lot of action at all. "Actually, you'd be surprised," I stated cryptically.

"What do you mean? Have you slept with someone recently?" She questioned eagerly as she lurched forward on her desk with wide eyes. The notion resembled that of a nosy, female high school student.

"Look at you – you little gossip! I'm not sure if I should tell you. You did say you weren't going to be personal with me anymore. I don't see why I should have to be personal with you."

"If you don't tell me, I'll forever assume you're a guy with erectile dysfunctions and hasn't been laid for god knows how long. Come on, who's it going to hurt if you tell me?"

"Ah, I really don't see why you're so eager to know, but I also see no reason why I shouldn't tell you. Last night, Wendy snuck into my cell. One thing led to another and I assume you know the rest." Noticeably, Audrey's smile faltered into a hybrid expression. Both anger and shock were evident in her eyes and suddenly I felt as if I shouldn't have told her anything.

"Wendy?" She asked almost irritably. Her voice was almost audible, but I could clearly detect the hint of annoyance soaking it. I nodded my head in reply. Slowly she stood up from her chair and I half expected her to begin screaming right there. Instead, however, she seemed to remain calm. "Will you excuse me for just a second?" She asked with an artificial smile. Without a response from me, she stormed out with her heels clicking against the floor.

As she exited, an Arkham guard entered. He was my babysitter now. I recognised this babysitter. The broken nose made him unmistakable considering I had given it to him. This guard was one which I had gotten into a fight with when I had attempted to escape. I couldn't help but stare at the broken nose. When I noticed him glaring at me, the room suddenly became awkward.

"If it's any consolation now, it looks like it's healing nicely," I noted trying to ease the atmosphere. I heard him breathe a sigh of displeasure as he continued to glare at me. I swallowed hard when he showed no signs of speaking back. "It was nothing against you personally. A broken nose actually makes you look manlier – not that I'm saying that you weren't manly before. But you know what they say; chicks love scars – so why can't it be the same for broken noses?"

"Shut up clown, before I make you look manlier," the guard finally growled in response. A tad harsh. I was only trying to create a simple conversation.

Thankfully, Audrey returned soon after so I didn't have to endure the painful silence any longer. The guard left and now it was just me and Audrey again. "Is there a problem?" I asked when I noticed Audrey's dishevelled stature.

"Oh yeah, everything's fine. I just went to have a word with Wendy that's all," she explained briefly. I heard her muttering incoherent words to herself, which I can only assume were profanities.

"Uh, I'm sorry, but am I missing something? Why did you just go talk to Wendy? What's up with you two?" I questioned, utterly confused. I chewed at my scars as I waited for an answer. The slight disposition between Audrey and Wendy had never really bothered me before because it's never really been a problem, but now curiosity had gotten the best of me.

"As you know, there is a rule about patients and workers here in Arkham. And don't get me wrong, it's not your fault; it's Wendy's. But that's not what's troubling me most. I'm actually scared for her. She really doesn't know what she's getting into with you. And I mean that in the least insulting way. It's also for your sake too. Please, listen to me when I tell you to stay away from her. Wendy is a little schemer and she knows exactly what she wants. I assure you, she's only using you to get something that she wants out of it. Don't trust a word she says. In fact, just don't talk to her. Stay away from her all together. She really hates me, so whatever it is she's after is probably something which she can use against me."

"Sounds like someone's jealous," I sang mockingly.

Audrey sighed and walked over to me. She sat beside me and stared directly into my eyes. "Please, I'm begging you. This is serious, stay away from her. I really don't know what she's planning, but it's most likely not going to be to your advantage. I'm trying to kill two birds with one stone here, so if you stay away from each other, no-one gets hurt."

My eyes rolled upwards as I contemplated whether or not I should take Audrey's advice. "Look, I'm a big boy, you don't have to patronise me. I can take care of myself. If Wendy wants to get in trouble, she'll get herself into trouble. Personally, I don't care what she does to me. Do you know why, hmm? Because I know I'll be able to do far worse."

I was about to turn my head away from her, until she gripped my jaw with her thumb and index finger, forcing me to look at her still. "Promise me, you won't kill her."

"I promise I won't kill her...yet."

"Joker!"

"What? I don't see the bad side to killing her. You don't like her, I don't like her. It's only fair if I kill her. Some people just need to be killed, Audrey. Wendy is one of those people."

"Seeing at there's no point in trying to talk you out of it, I'm just going to stop talking," she informed as she stood up from the sofa. "I think it's the end of the session now." I stood up as she said this and followed her towards the door. "Well, Joker, thanks for another –" Before I let her finish her sentence, I gripped either side of her face with my hands and crashed my lips down onto hers. Immediately she began struggling to escape my grip and muffled screams attempted to pass through her lips. Her feeble attempts to push me away amused me, so I couldn't help put chuckle throatily as her tiny hands attacked my chest. One of my hands went around to the back of her head, while the other slid down her back and pressed her body closer to mine. The sudden lack of space between us trapped her hands in between her chest and mine.

Her moans of displeasure continued as she now tried to get an arm free. I opened my eyes for a second to see that her brow was creased and her eyes were wide open staring at the CCTV camera. It made me wonder; if that camera wasn't there, would she have been enjoying the kiss? Nevertheless, I smiled into the kiss at her discomfort.

Soon after, Audrey managed to wriggle one of her arms free and instantaneously after I felt a stinging slap to the side of my face. I broke away out of shock and wriggled my jaw to ease the pain. "Ow," I said with a chuckle. "You've got a good hit there, doc," I complimented as I felt the now burning skin.

Audrey's frown still marked her head, except now her eyes were wide open at me. "What are you doing?" Audrey whisper-shouted as she wiped away my taste from her lips. Fortunately for her, I wasn't wearing make-up today considering I'd just come out of the shower.

"It's just a little something to think about...tonight – when you're alone," I purred before winking at her and sniggering mirthfully. Audrey said nothing else, but instead opened her office door for me to leave. Whilst continuing my taunting snickering, I was led down the corridor, making sure Audrey still heard my laughter.

Hey, my balls didn't hurt anymore.

*.*.*.*

**A/N: I had trouble with the chapter title. In the end, I decided with Sexual Frustration. It isn't really inspired by anything, but I couldn't think of what else to call it.**

**I think the conversation about being in love with Audrey is a reference to The Sopranos. I'm pretty sure something similar happens in one of the episodes but I'm not entirely sure.**

**I personally love The Joker and Audrey's relationship best. I'm sorry if it seems that majority of the chapters are with her, I might be a little biased. I also apologise for scarcity of Jezebel. There should be more of her and Joker soon. I don't like Wendy at all. She's a bitch really.**

**If you like this story, you might want to check out my newish one called, Winter Kiss. I'm just finishing uploading the chapters that I'd already uploaded on Mibba.**

**Cookies for reviewers. I actually do have cookies made, but it'd be physically impossible to give them to you via internet. =[**


	14. Group Therapy Sessions

**Chapter 14: Group Therapy Sessions**

The asylum was my oyster as soon as I was allowed out of Dr Clarkson's room. Without having to be led to my next destination, I already knew that I had to go to the recreation room. The monotonous day to day routine hadn't changed nor had the dull atmosphere in the recreation room reverberating off of all of the patients. I had only taken a few steps into the room before I was attacked from behind. I should have been scared by the sudden abnormality in the atmosphere, but I didn't seem to care.

I felt someone's small frame wrap their legs around my waist and snake their arms over my shoulders. "Surprise!" I heard a familiar voice scream into my ear. I flinched at the loud noise, but I became less shocked at the surprise, realising who it was. It was Jezebel and I could already tell she was in a good mood today.

"What do you want?" I sighed not even fazed by her strange, bi-polar antics anymore. It wasn't as if she was a burden to carry either. I was able to carry her weight without even attempting to participate. Her tight grip around me managed to keep herself up and steady.

"Giddy up!" She yelled excitedly before shaking my shoulders slightly. With a grumble, I obeyed her orders and walked over to the couch reluctantly. When I placed her down onto the couch, I deliberately placed all of my weight on top of her too. "Ow! What the fuck are you doing? I can't breathe!" For a moment, I forgot all about her disease and then her coughing commenced. Immediately I rolled off her and tried to calm her down.

"Jezebel, are you alright?" I questioned hastily.

Her coughing eased into a hysterical laugh. "Oh my God, you're easy! I was just kidding," she chuckled cruelly.

"Well, that's not really funny."

"Oh, lighten up. I would have thought you'd be able to take a joke. Today's a good day for me. I haven't coughed once...except for then, but they were fake. But now I know you love me, because you freaked out just then. You love me, you love me, you love me," she repeated as she wrapped her arms around me in a hug. Normally, I'd be extremely uncomfortable at the gesture, but just as I was about to shove her away – I noticed Wendy standing at the nurse's window, glaring jealously and full of venom. I hugged her back as I deliberately returned an identical glare. I knew I had won the glaring contest when Wendy moodily stormed off into the backroom. I smiled at my victory and pushed Jezebel away.

"So, Jizzebel, does that mean you're getting better?" I asked. I don't know why I showed an interest in this girl's problem – there was just something intriguing about her story. I didn't have to be sympathetic towards her because she didn't show any signs of needing it. She was already so accepting of her own, ever nearing death.

"I already told you; this disease only gets progressively worse. I'm not getting better. Internally I'm slowly deteriorating, for lack of better word. Don't be fooled by how healthy I look on the outside. It's only skin deep."

"At least you're healthy enough to try and rape me. I really enjoyed that by the way – thank you," I praised sarcastically.

"Hey! It's not rape if the attacker yells 'surprise'! It's surprise sex if anything."

"Rape is, ah, having sex with another against their will, no matter what the attacker yells."

"Okay, who died and made you the fucking king of rape?" She screamed, attracting a lot of attention, may I add? "Let's change the subject, shall we? Do you wanna go play some cards with the guys? I know you don't get along well with some people on that table, but it's better than sitting here and doing nothing. Do you know what the problem with you and Hush is? You're too alike. You know what I think? I think you've both gone through tough times in the past. Hush has had problems with his parents and I've only heard rumours that you have too. When Hush was younger his dad was a drunk and his mother was frail and willingly endured the abuse dealt to her and Hush. Hush hated both of them, so one day he tried killing them by cutting the brakes to the car. However, his mother was saved by Bruce Wayne's father. Soon after he was taken here after brutally attacking Bruce in summer camp. The name 'Hush' was given to him by Crane for being a boy who's never satisfied with what he has. In that way, I think you can relate to him. So, please, just try and get along with him. Don't tell him I told you any of this, by the way. Come on – let's go."

Both I and Jezebel placed ourselves at the table in between Croc and Nigma. There was no reaction at all to our appearance, instead they simply continued with their card game. "What are we playing?" Jezebel asked as she leaned in towards the table.

"Bullshit," Crane replied.

"But you'll have to wait to play. We're not stopping this game just for you two," Hush remarked harshly. Jezebel sighed as she leaned back in the chair. Her head rested on the side of my arm when she crossed her arms huffily. We both watched the game of Bullshit which never seemed to end. Each of them were equally good liars, so it was pretty hard to tell which of them were bullshitting. I lost interest with the game when I heard a familiar voice speak up from behind.

"So, what do you want now? Have you come to lecture me again?" Wendy's familiar voice questioned from far away.

"Oh, no. No, I'm busy at the moment. I've been asked to help out in a group therapy session. It's one of my patient's first group therapy sessions, you see. Because unlike you, I like to help my patients instead of giving them blowjobs," she replied cynically. This was also a voice I was extremely familiar with. It was Audrey. My head instantly turned – getting ready to watch a cat fight break out. Where's the popcorn?

"Oh, that's professional."

"And teasing patients is? You should be thankful I haven't told Dr Arkham about what you've been doing, hmm. You need to grow up, Wendy. This hate you have for me – just because I'm a doctor here and you're not – has to stop. Whatever you're planning to get out of this, isn't going to work, so just quit while you're ahead."

"We'll just see about that. Soon, he'll open up to me. You'll see. Speaking of which, how's it going in the sessions? Getting any information out of him? Or have you given up hope with him yet? I'm going to enjoy seeing your face when I've rubbed all of the juicy information in it. I crack The Joker and then it's an easy path to success." Okay, that hit a nerve. And not in a good way. I literally wanted to get her by the throat and strangle the life out of her. I felt my teeth grinding together and my knuckles went white with blinding rage.

"Well...good luck with that. You obviously don't know this man – at all. If you think it's going to be that easy, then you've got another thing coming. I'm warning you; as soon as this man has the chance, he will kill you before you have the chance to put your panties back on. And he'll lick at your wounds to have that extra self satisfaction. Trust me, stay away from my patient," she warned and then I heard her heels click away.

I had already added Wendy to my list of things to 'do' today, but this task had suddenly become one of my main priorities. To begin with, I was never really fond of Wendy, but to say that now would be an understatement. The abhorrence I held for Wendy was just too odious to be able to explain it thoroughly and appropriately. Audrey had warned me about her and I believed her. But hearing it firsthand made my blood boil and my mind consumed with bad, bad thoughts.

"Are you okay?" Jezebel asked as she placed her hand over my pulsing fist. "Are you playing or not?" With hooded eyes I glowered up at her and hesitantly she pulled her hand away. I knew I shouldn't have been angry at Jezebel; she hadn't done anything wrong – but my bestiality had gotten the better of me. I could have taken this anger out of the most innocent of people.

I didn't have to answer considering the head nurse came out of the nurse's room and began shouting. "Gather around everyone! It's time for our group therapy session." I hadn't been informed that I was to partake in this session, but then again, I hadn't been informed on a lot of things. Willingly, I stood up and sat at one of the many chairs in a perfect semicircle. Jezebel was shooed out of this recreation room before the therapy session was allowed to commence. Directly in front of the semicircle were three chairs. In the middle was the old, head nurse. On the left was Wendy and on the right was Audrey.

"Welcome everybody," the head nurse began with a cheery smile. I hated this woman. "Today I'd like to begin the session by introducing everyone to a new member. He likes to be called 'Joker'. So everyone say 'hello, Joker'." Monotonously and in unison, everyone did so. It's pre-school all over again. "Now, considering that this is your first session with us, Mr Joker – how would you like to introduce yourself and share your problems? Start the session off for us?"

"Problems? I don't have any, uh, problems. What makes you think that, hmm?" I asked.

"Well, there has to be a reason why you're here, right? A problem you may have," she replied.

"In that case, Batman is my problem."

"Care to elucidate?"

"Nope."

"Okay, I suppose we've made a start. Waylon Jones, do you have anything to add on Joker's problem with Batman?" The question was directed at Croc, so I automatically assumed that 'Waylon Jones' was his real name. I almost leaned in, in anticipation to hear him speak. It was seldom that I'd hear a noise being emitted from this man – I don't think I've ever heard him speak, in fact. In response to the nurse's question, he merely shook his head from side to side slowly. "Are you sure? I'd really like to write in my notebook that you've expressed yourself for the first time. It'll be beneficial for you if you open up and expose yourself in front of everyone."

"Please! There are ladies present!" I exclaimed in faux shock. Audrey wasn't able to restrain her laughter and ended up quietly chuckling to herself. The head nurse stared at her disapprovingly for her immaturity. Once Audrey realised this, she disguised her laughter with fake cough and straightened out her posture.

"I'm sorry," she apologised quickly.

"Mr Joker, if you're not going to say anything useful, please refrain from saying anything at all," the nurse lectured, before focusing her attention back on Croc. "So, Mr Jones?" Once again, he shook his head in reply. "Dominic, how about you? Do you want to tell us anything?"

"Yes, actually," this man who I've never noticed before replied. This man's skin colour almost looked grey and his chapped lips were frosted with dry skin. He looked feeble and unsteady, as if he was about to collapse at any moment. "This time three years ago, I and my ex-wife were getting married. It's our anniversary today. I should be home. I should be home right now, with her."

"Dominic, your wife isn't home right now. Is she, Dominic?" Audrey asked.

"No...no. She's at home. Where else would she be? She's at home. She's waiting for me. Like she always is. She always waits for me."

"We've been over this. You're wife isn't home. Where is she? Tell us where she is. Come on, Dominic, you know this," Audrey tried to urge him. Quite frankly, I had no idea what they were talking about. But with every word spoken, this guy's rocking back and forward became more apparent.

"I know what you're trying to do. People keep telling me things. They keep telling me my wife's never going to be home again. They say it's my fault. I didn't do it. I didn't."

"You know that's not true. You've already confessed here what you've done. Don't you remember? Why don't you –"

"I didn't want to hit her. I didn't like hitting her. Every night she'd make me so...angry! She made me hit her. Then she'd cry. She'd tell me she hated me. It's not my fault, it was hers."

"And then what happened, Dominic? Things got worse, didn't they? You couldn't stand another second with her, could you? So what did you do to her?" Audrey continuously questioned.

"I DIDN'T KILL HER!" Dominic roared. I think I'd got the gist of what was happening now and it was rather entertaining. The good thing about these group therapy sessions was that people actually listened to you instead of waiting for their chance to talk.

"Okay, please calm down, Dominic," Audrey ordered.

"DON'T say that...SHE always said that," he growled as he buried his head in his knees and began rocking back and forth profusely. "She'd always beg me to stop. I didn't listen. I kept on hurting her. I hated her. You remind me of her."

"I remind you of your wife?" Audrey asked.

"You remind me of my wife. I fucking hated her. I hated my wife. I did kill her. You remind me of her. I slashed her throat. With a kitchen knife. She was trying to use it to cook something for me. She was always fucking late. She never did anything right. So I killed her. I hated her. You remind me of her. You remind me of her!" There was a moment silence. The admittance had stunned everyone. Just as Audrey was about to start talking again, Dominic abruptly stood up – knocking over his chair in the process – and charged towards Audrey. He pounced at her knocking both of them to the floor. There was a simultaneous release of gasps as Audrey was violently assaulted, yet no-one made an immediate move to help her. Audrey began screaming as she attempted to push him off of her. The head nurse ran off, most likely to find help. And Wendy simply watched the struggle happening on the floor – most likely enjoying the scene. I don't know what had possessed me to do it, but I stood up also. No-one else seemed to be doing anything to help her. I quickly leaped at the guy choking Audrey and tore him off of her. Furiously, I began punching this stranger in the face profusely.

Why did I feel as if I needed to protect Audrey? I wasn't quite sure myself. All I knew was that watching this man hurt Audrey infuriated me. Combined with the previously built up rage, I had to take it out on somebody. Beating this stranger senseless was helping me vent my anger.

It all came to an end when the guards entered the scene and tore me off Dominic. At least four guards were brutally abusing me. If I wasn't being electrocuted with tazers, I was being struck with nightsticks and if neither of them, they'd use their bare hands. For once, I was the wrong culprit. It shouldn't be me who's getting beat up. I was trying to protect Audrey.

"Stop it!" Audrey shouted hoarsely. "Stop hurting him. Leave him alone!" No matter how many times Audrey would yell at them, they were relentless. They didn't stop. When I was almost completely out cold and laughing as a defence mechanism had worn off, they stopped and then picked me up by my arms. They dragged my limp body towards the exit of the recreation room. I would have fought back if I wasn't already weakened by an unfair advantage.

***.*.*.***

**A/N: Oh my God, I am so sorry I haven't updated this for a while. I've been extremely busy, but I've admittedly been procrastinating also. If I haven't told you already, I've just started college and that's been consuming most of my time. In all honesty, I can't wait for this story to be over. I can't really determine how many chapters I have left yet, but I can assure you that it's over halfway done. And if it's any consolation, The Joker may be escaping soon-ish. ;D Something to look forward to.**

**To be fair, I think not writing as much as deteriorated my writing ability. The vocabulary used in this didn't seem as if it was to its usual standard.**

**Just in case you're unaware, Bullshit is a card game. It's basically a game full of lies and how good you are at keeping your poker face.**

"**Please! There are ladies present!" Is a reference from a film called, Clue. When Wadsworth the butler exclaims, "I chose to expose myself!" Colonel Mustard shouts that quote back.**

**I didn't particularly like this chapter, but it's kind of necessary. It's all part of the storyline. I don't know how it's possible but this chapter seemed to have less Joker in it, even though it's written in his POV.**

**Anywho, I'd like to thank my reviewers again. For being loyal to this story I suppose and not getting bored waiting for an update. =]**


	15. An Element of Truth

**Chapter 15: An Element of Truth**

The new destination to which I was approaching currently was a mystery to me. I wasn't being informed nor being treated with any sense of respect. I was heaved up a few flights of stairs which is the furthest away from my cell I'd ever been since I'd unwillingly resided here. I was unable to express any clear gestures of being slightly happy to being in a new environment – not matter how alike it was to the environment a few floors below – due to the previous injuries and contusions that had been caused not even five minutes ago.

Eventually, after having the straitjacket strapped back onto me, I was thrown into a room. Fortunately, the collision with the ground inflicted no pain as it was a soft texture. I later realised that it almost felt sponge-like and then assumed that it was a soft cell. Considering there were no lights on, it was hard to tell for certain, but when everything you touch has a delicate surface, it's hard to assume otherwise.

Through much effort without my arms, I managed to place myself in an upright position sat against the soft wall. The fact that I'd been forced into this padded cell wasn't the most unnerving notion at this moment. The contemplation of whether or not I was to be bound here permanently was the main thought that was troubling me.

Only moments later after my new abiding in the cell, the lights flickered on slowly making my eyes squeeze shut. I blinked a few times to adjust to the light and suddenly became certain that this was in fact a soft cell. I heard a lot of odd noises sounding from outside of my cell. Clinking, banging, beeping. After one long and final buzz, the huge metallic door opened slowly.

Audrey stood at the entrance and was staring down at me on the floor. I shouldn't have been surprised to see that she'd come to check up on me. I'd grown to somewhat enjoy Audrey's company and I felt as if the feelings were mutual. The relationship was complicated and awkward on her part, but I always wondered whether or not it'd be different if it wasn't so closely watched by burdening eyes. Audrey's relationship with her job was far more superior to the relationship we shared. I'd also like to point out that my relationship with my job is also far too superior to have any romantic feelings towards Audrey. I don't want any false pretences being formed merely because I stated that I enjoyed her company. You see, I like Audrey – but I love my job. There's a complete difference. In the eyes of many, I'm incapable of loving (in a none platonic way) and it could be true. I felt as if I couldn't physically desire another in a loving way. However, I apologise in advance if I've made incorrect theories.

"Thank you," Audrey hushed as she knelt down beside me. I refrained from saying anything. I was still slightly bewildered as to why I actually felt compelled to protect Audrey. I didn't want anyone to kill her because then I'd have to be transferred to another doctor. Audrey seemed like a one in a million kind of psychiatrist, so it'd be highly unlikely that I'd be paired with another likeable shrink. "That was a really nice thing you did for me, whether you're willing to accept these feelings of gratitude or not. I'm only sorry that I couldn't have done more to help you in the consequence of your actions. I can only hope you weren't as badly hurt as it looked like you were – but judging by the looks of you, my hope doesn't succeed."

Silence consumed when I continued to refuse to speak back. It wasn't just because I felt awkward for having to say anything. It was also because I felt physically fatigued. I had just been beaten profusely so it's understandable. "Are you going to speak to me, Joker? If you're not going to speak, there really isn't any point of me being here, is there? Maybe I should just leave you alone to wallow in your own sad bubble."

"My own sad bubble?" I questioned darkly. "My own sad bubble? It's your fault that I'm here in the first place, you stupid little – never mind. I'd have thought you'd be a little more grateful than this, Audrey. I just virtually saved your life and now you're acting as if I'm the one not treating you right. What is it that you want me to say, hmm? I've shown an act of kindness; that's a major breakthrough! You should be happy if anything! Just get me out of this cell and return the favour, okay? It's only fair. I haven't actually done anything wrong here."

"I've tried – trust me. I told them what you were trying to do, but they're still sceptic. At this moment in time, they hardly believe a word I say. They're beginning to think that I'm becoming somewhat of accomplice to you, which is preposterous. After the incident in the last session – the kiss I mean – they were a little less than happy. I warned you about the CCTV cameras, so therefore they saw everything. I've been lectured relentlessly about how close this relationship is getting and they're worried that I may be forming an obsession. A lot of psychiatrists can lose their mind that way. Some even commit suicide. They threatened to transfer you to another psychiatrist and part of me thinks that it may be a good idea."

I rolled my eyes as I licked my lips and looked away from her. She said she loved her patients. But if sacrificing some of her patients meant keeping her job, she'd gladly do it. I was far too exhausted to argue with her. I completely disagreed with her ideas of exchanging patients with another doctor, but in the end she's not affecting anyone but herself. She's the one who'd be giving up on a patient. She's the one who was once so determined to cure me. There was no need to argue with her. She'd soon see how unbeneficial her move would be. Letting me go would be giving up and thus gives Wendy a better chance at retrieving what it is she's aiming for.

"What, you're not even going to disagree with me?" Audrey asked after a moment of silence. "Do you agree with me – is that it? In all honesty, I'd have thought you'd show a little more enthusiasm through fight. I must have misjudged you and the relationship we share...or maybe you're just not talking to me in general. You don't have to be ashamed you know – just because you did a good deed."

"And that's the only good deed I'll do, I assure you. One good deed for life. I can die happily now, knowing for certain that I'm going to heaven. Now, if there really isn't anything you can do to repay me for this good deed, if you'll gladly leave now, I'd be most obliged. Nice knowing ya, doc. It's been fun," I murmured, dripping with venomous satire.

"Oh, so that's how you're going to act, huh? You're going to sulk? I don't know what I've done or said to you to upset you so; but I'll apologise anyway. And maybe I can't get you out of here just yet, but you should be grateful over the fact that I've given thought about you and showed consideration to how you're feeling. Any other person would have ignored you."

When I still refused to say anything useful, Audrey pulled out a tissue from her coat pocket. Her arm stretched out towards my face. Naturally, my first instinct was to back away, however there's only a limited amount of room for me to be able to move back into. I couldn't shove her arm away seeing as my arms were a little constrained. Without being able to attempt to escape her any further, she placed the tissue underneath my nose and began rubbing away at the blood. I hadn't even realised it was bleeding until she first pulled away the tissue; stained with drying blood.

"I hope that's a clean tissue."

"It was. Certainly isn't now," she retorted as she placed the tissue down besides her. "Is there any other injuries you want me to speculate? You seemed to get badly beaten back then and once again, I'm sorry I couldn't do anything to prevent it."

"One of them, uh, kicked me pretty hard in the ribs – I think that one of them might be broken," I replied, remembering the harsh collision to my side. Immediately after, Audrey was unfastening the straps on my straitjacket. She pulled the whole thing off and flung it aside.

"Which side is hurting?" She asked.

"My left," I replied as I motioned towards it with my hand. Slowly she pushed my scrub top up, brushing her hand along my stomach in the process. Still holding the top up, she brought her other hand to my side. Her fingertips gently trailed my ribs and instant goosebumps began to form from the light tickling sensation. In a motion that resembled a spider's legs, her fingers gently crawled upwards. I shivered violently at the odd feeling and the hairs on my arms began stand up. The motion actually seemed sensually arousing in a weird way and even though we weren't making eye contact, I knew she felt the same vibe. However, the odd but pleasant feeling disappeared when she reached the specific spot that had caused me pain. I flinched abruptly at the contrasting of the positive and negative sensations.

"Is that where it hurts?" She questioned as she did smooth circles around the painful area. Her wide eyes were now looking up into mine. I nodded quickly. I hissed when she added more pressure to the spot, thoroughly examining the rib. "I don't think it's broken. It may be cracked or just bruised. I'll have someone bandage it up for you or I'll do it later. I don't think it's anything to worry about to be honest. These things usually heal fairly quickly, but we'll see what happens in the next week. I'll have the nurses prescribe you with a painkiller daily, just to ease the pain. There's probably going to be a huge bruise on your side actually. But there's no need to –"

"Audrey, you talk too much," I interrupted.

"What?" Whether it was because of the previous oddly, erotic gestures with her hands or the fact that her eyes seemed to express somewhat of a passionate desire, I suddenly felt an animalistic yearning for physical contact. Her wide brown irises seemed to burn with almost a sense of longing and I couldn't refrain from wanting to touch her. I placed my hand to the back of her head and tried pulling her towards me. "No, please don't do that again," she exclaimed as she pushed me away. I have to admit, I was shocked. I'd clearly judged her wrong. I blamed the profuse injuries to the head for having such lewd bodily cravings and for judging Audrey's wants incorrectly. My mood instantly deflated after being rejected again. "Joker – I don't want you," she started sternly. "Haven't I already told you how dangerous this relationship could be? I've already said that I'm already on the verge of losing my job and I sincerely don't want that. Believe me, I'm flattered by your gestures, but you've got to understand that it just won't work between us. It's morally incorrect. Not only am I abiding by the rules of Arkham, but you also seem to be forgetting that I'm married. I don't want you coming between that marriage and destroying it. If you're going to continue acting this way towards me, I don't want to have to treat you anymore. It's best that we stop our sessions before your obsession with me expands into something bigger, more vulgar and more lethal."

"There are several things wrong with your statement. How long are you going to keep your charade up? You're trying to fool yourself into thinking that you don't want me, but you can't keep that up forever. Every human being craves affection and by the sounds of it, your husband neglects this duty because you're much too interested in your own job. Therefore you resort to me, considering I satisfy the criteria for both your work and an object of affection. And who cares about morality? It seems to me that that was thrown out of the window before the sessions even started. You have to understand that I'm not a guy who cares for any morals, so anything where I'm concerned will probably be immoral. I'm not the one who will be coming between your marriage and destroying it. It'll only be destroyed if you let it be. If you truly love this person that you're with, you'd stop at nothing to prevent it from being destroyed. If you do choose to give me up, then you're not fooling anyone but yourself. You'll be putting shame to this love for your job that you have by quitting me. And lastly, who said I had an obsession? The obsession's mutual if anything. Obsession? What a joke."

"Well, in every joke – there's an element of truth." Audrey stood up soon after and opened the cell door. "Have someone bandage up his ribs and then take him back to his cell," she ordered someone from outside. I sighed heavily in exasperation. I didn't know whether to be angry at her or not. In all honesty, I didn't want her to leave me, but I was just much too proud to admit it to her. It'd probably emphasise her theory about my obsession with her. And also her other theory about the jokes. A joke may be just a way of disguising true thoughts and emotions, whether it is subconscious or deliberate.

*.*.*.*

**A/N: I'm sorry; it's taking me ages to write anything. But I can't write when I'm tired and when I do, the chapter ends up being terrible in my opinion. So, I'd rather write chapters that are above average even if they do take long periods of time, rather than writing a lot of chapters which are terrible.**

**The chapter title, pretty self explanatory. It's a popular phrase. I heard it recently on something I was watching on TV. I honestly can't remember what it was though. I want to say The Simpsons, but I can't be certain. **


	16. The Grim Goodbye

**Chapter 16: The Grim Goodbye**

On Audrey's demands, I was brought out of the soft cell and taken down a few floors to the medical facility. However, I was taken to a private room, rather than the shared hospital ward. I wasn't pleased to find that Wendy was the nurse treating me. Not that I was remotely amused previously. In fact, the whole day hadn't gone so smoothly to begin with. I just felt as if my tolerance level had finally hit its peak and now I'd stop at nothing to get out of this god forsaken place. First off, there was the conflict between Audrey and Wendy and then the group therapy fight ending me up in a soft cell with a possible cracked rib and now Wendy is here to annoy me more.

"You sure don't look happy to see me, J," Wendy started, clearly noticing my exaggerated glare. Yes, because frowning at her will make all my problems go away. "Hey, it takes more muscles to frown than to smile! Turn that frown upside down!"

I let out a loud sigh. "How can that possibly make sense? A frown turned upside down will not form a smile; it'll only form and upside down frown and where is the logic in that?" I questioned. "Now, I didn't come here to chat. Fix me up and I'll leave straight away," I ordered as I raised my scrub top.

"Don't flash your nipples at me! And don't tell me what to do! As long as you're in here, you do what I tell you, not vice versa. Now place yourself on the bed and take your top off."

"Or what, hmm?" I asked smarmily.

"I won't help you escape tonight." I growled inwardly at her remark and that smug smile on her face. She knew she could manipulate be with that kind of bribery. I was in no state of mind to want to give up that deal.

"Tonight?" I questioned, just to clarify. She nodded her in reply whilst biting her lower lip. "I'll be waiting in my cell – obviously." I placed myself on the bed behind me and pulled the top over my head slowly, in fear of twisting my torso the wrong way. Broken or not, my ribs were still excruciatingly painful.

"You're also going to have to tell me about yourself before I let you leave," Wendy added as she began to unravel a roll of bandages. "I want to know all about you." The way she said it sounded almost robotic; as if she knew exactly what she was going to say and had studied her words closely.

I cleared my throat remembering a particular conversation previously today. "That, uh, reminds me. Is there a particular reason as to why you're so eager to acquire this information?"

"Hmm, no reason."

"Liar! Tell me –" As I raised my voice, Wendy deliberately tightened the bandage in pure spite. I groaned in pain at the almost electrocuting feel of the tightening. If I wasn't so winded, I'd have probably done something or at least said something to her. There was also the problem that she may repeat her actions and I was in no mood to be tormented like so.

"How much did you hear?" Wendy asked as she glared down at me. At this point, she had already assumed that I had heard her conversation with Audrey previously today.

"I heard enough. So, what is it you're planning to do, hmm? And what makes you think I'm going to 'open up' to you, as you like to put it?" I questioned, immaturely mocking her.

"The fact that your escape depends on this one deal, remember? And does it really matter what I'm planning to do?" She questioned back.

"Ah ha! So you are planning to do something with it! Yes, it does matter! I don't want you using any information against me for the worst! Are you gonna use that same bribery trick with me all the time!" I yelled uncontrollably.

"Why, yes. Yes I am. Because I know how effective it is. Trust me; what you tell me will be strictly confidential. Remember, as soon as you tell me, you're free to leave." Wendy may sound like an evil genius – a schemer also – but she seemed to be forgetting who she was challenging. May I remind you who the true criminal mastermind here? There's no need to be modest in this situation, I'm merely comparing myself with the intellect of Wendy, whose schemer in her was more prominent than her tactics. Clearly, it doesn't take a genius to know who's smarter. However, she herself obviously didn't, and underestimated me greatly.

A sly grin instantly tugged at the corners of my lips. The deliciously evil thought was far too pleasing to be able to disguise my excitement. However, it'd have to wait for my departure tonight. Audrey would get what was coming to her. I'd make sure of it. I'd ruin the surprise if I was to tell you now. Wendy seemed to have noticed the change in facial expressions and one eyebrow rose as she stared at me questionably.

"What's that look for?" She asked as she cut the bandage.

"Hmm, no reason," I mocked and licked my lips.

She jabbed my ribs with her index finger forcing me to lurch forwards as another cruel act in annoyance. "All done!" She chirped as she smiled brightly at me. Frowning at her harshly, I carefully pushed myself off the hospital bed and placed my top back on. It felt odd having bandages tightly wrapped around my torso. It almost felt like a corset.

I wanted nothing more than to get out of there, so I kept the conversation brief. "So, what time do you plan on meeting me in my cell?" I asked, sounding almost eager.

"It's a surprise. As soon as I've got everything under control, I suppose."

"You better keep your end of the deal!" I growled as I gripped her arm.

Her lips pursed as she rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah, okay. I'll be there. Now please, stop smothering me and leave." As my grip tightened around her arm, she yanked it away from me. I daren't say anything else; I didn't want to spoil the fun for myself tonight. Therefore, I bit my lip and held my punches, so I could savour them more so later in the evening.

.*.*.*.

After being sent to my cell from being bandaged up by Wendy, I spent the rest of my night waiting for Wendy to appear. I started off patiently awaiting her arrival, twiddling my thumbs and toes to pass the time. Honestly, I really did try being as patient as possible. But as the room became increasingly dark with no signs of Wendy showing up, I grew increasingly irritable. I paced the room back and forth as comical as it may seem. From the boredom building up I could have ran laps around the room, let alone paced it, just to satisfy my need to do something.

The moon was filling the sky by the time I heard the sound of the cell door opening. I instantly stopped in my tracks waiting for whomever to enter. Wendy revealed herself in the moon's glow and I let out a loud sigh of relief. "There you are!"

"Shh! Shh!" Wendy hushed irritably. "No one know I'm here, so just be quiet. I've distracted all the guards for now. They're all on a higher floor after I created a diversion involving a dangerous patient. It should be an easy task to get out of this current floor. But as for the ground floor, I'm not certain on how many workers are down there. It shouldn't be too much of a problem with you, taking into consideration your quick thinking, especially with these tools." Out of her pocket, she pulled a tazer gun, a nightstick and what looked like a simple kitchen knife. "I'm sorry about the selection of weapons. The choice was only limited."

"They'll do fine," I uttered, happily taking the weapons from her.

"Okay, now it's time to take up your end of the deal. Don't be stingy on the details. I want to know everything."

I cleared my throat before beginning. "Well, I've lived in Gotham all my life. I used to live in The Narrows with my mom and dad. My dad was an abusive alcoholic. He'd beat my mother endlessly, until one fatal night. She decides to stand up to him. She decides to get a kitchen knife to defend herself. He doesn't like that. Not. One. Bit. I stood and watched as he put the knife to my mother, incapable of helping her and blissfully unaware that I was to accept the same unfortunate fate. Jack Napier wasn't ever a happy child when he was younger – for obvious reasons – now...I'm always smiling - - - Is that enough for you?"

Wendy sincerely looked shocked. There was a moments silence before she was able to form any coherent words. "Wow. I wasn't expecting you to open up to me in that manner. That was...deep – for lack of a better word. I actually feel somewhat special, that you've opened up to me like that."

A smile played at my lips. I chuckled lowly, hardly even audible. I stood up from the bed slowly and toyed with kitchen knife. I felt the cold smoothness of the flat side and ran my index finger along to the tip; sharp and deadly in contrast to the flat side. It was only a mere kitchen knife, but the fact that I'd been deprived of any sharp objects during my confinement here, made me cherish the feel of that knife more.

"You should feel oh-so proud of yourself, Wendy. You should absorb this moment while it lasts. You've managed to obtain and fulfil your wants and are now somewhat able to do whatever you want with it. Write a book, tell Arkham, tell it to the whole world – whatever you're planning to do, you can do it. However, you've been naive. Very naive." I turned to face Wendy who was sat on the bed still. Her expression was unfamiliar to me. It was not one I was used to seeing her with and also the dark lighting in the room seemed to obscure it more so. I could clearly see there was a worry line wrinkling her forehead, however, and the shadow cast from the moonlight seemed to darken this feature.

"What do you mean?" She asked almost feebly. Not once had I heard her use such a tone. She was once so bold and brave, but now I see the phrase 'a wolf in sheep's clothing' can go both ways. It could have been the fact that I was holding a knife or my sudden change in character, which had drained Wendy of her artificial dye and now revealed her true colours. She was nothing.

"Did you think you'd be able to get away with this, hmm?"

"What are you gonna do? Tell on me? Lock me in here?" She questioned; her remaining boldness still trying to strengthen.

"Oh, no. No, I'm not that cruel." I grinned sardonically. As I grimaced down at her, my shadow being cast upon her almost made it look as if she was shrivelling with fear. Without hesitation, I rose the nightstick in the air and brought it down to her face with a sudden vehement desire for revenge. I felt no shame or sorrow in doing it. In Arkham, I had willingly endured the abuse and torment given to me by her, but I was in control now.

The hit to the face came as a shock to her and as her body jerked to the side as a feral cry was released. I laughed pitilessly as she clutched the side of her face. I repeated my actions, ignoring her weak attempts to make me stop. "You're very clever for managing to get this information out of me. Unfortunately, you won't live to tell the tale," I explained in between hits. I stopped realising I didn't want her to pass out. Her groans and cries had softened now that I had stopped. She snivelled helplessly as she attempted to back away from me in fear of striking again.

"You're a sick bastard, Joker! Just let me go! I helped you! You're fucking crazy, you asshole!" She growled at me through tears. Her body seemed to shake with every breath. It took a lot of courage for her to stand up to me in this disposition. I applauded that, however, it's idiotic to think I'd not react to it.

Instantly, I grabbed her tightly around the throat and forced her down onto the bed. She was now lying flat on her back, choking for air and her hands desperately clawing away at mine. "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, Wendy." With that said; I quickly grabbed the pillow from my bed and placed it over her face in order to stop her cries for help. Now, they came out muffled and distorted and even the creaks of the bed as she flailed her arms and legs overpowered the cries. I grabbed the knife without a second thought and repeatedly stabbed the pillow. Watching the vermillion blood seep through and almost make a tie dye effect was a beautiful sight to see. Who said murder's not an art? The way the white of the pillow slowly darkened as the red bled into it had to be considered artistic.

A grim goodbye for the dear Wendy; but a deserved one. Wouldn't you agree?

*.*.*.*

**A/N: A morbid ending. I actually think it may be the most morbid and disturbing thing I've written. Also, Wendy's death is kind of an Inglorious Basterds inspired one. I hope you don't mind me killing her off. She wasn't much liked anyway, but I had planned to kill her from the beginning.**

**Chapter title is a song. The Grim Goodbye is a bonus track on The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus' album, Don't You Fake It. The whole album is actually really good in my opinion, so I'm going to recommend it. This track is one of my favourites on the album even though it does go on for at least seven minutes.**

**I had trouble with The Joker's story because I didn't feel like I wanted to create my own, but I also didn't want to copy his previous stories word for word. I do prefer the first scar story to the second for some unknown reason. However, I do like the idea that they were self-inflicted. But I decided to go with the first. Also, I chose Jack Napier to be his name. Didn't take the liberty of naming him myself, so I settled with what previous Joker's have been named, even if The Joker in Nolan's Batman is said to have no name.**

**And once again, I do apologise if I'm not updating enough. A certain commenter on Mibba made it clear that I'm not updating enough. However, the fact that I was requested by you to take the story down because I didn't update enough is just absurd. I don't write this story for you. There are other readers who may be interested to know how this finishes. A lot of readers may be upset if I decided to stop writing it. I know I feel the same way when I read stories which people don't finish. More so, the request is just plain rude. I enjoy writing this when I'm able to and I'd be angry at myself if I don't get to the end of this. I don't mean to offend; I aim to get my point across.**


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